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Chad 8599 sats – I heard your Boostagram on PC 2.0 so I’m checking out your podcast.
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Why do you do what you do? Sounds like a weird question to ask yet we always ask that and there is a reason why we keep doing the same things over and over.
Why do certain people keep falling into the same traps time and again? Why do men pick the same type of woman over and over again? Why do we struggle on improving ourselves? Why do we struggle on losing weight? Why do we struggle on improving our minds improving our souls or improving our communities?
The reason is because of what actually motivates us to do what we do. And this concept is called the motivational triad. The reasons why you are always going for that piece of german chocolate cake even though you are full. Why you are a creature of habit. Why do you lie to your boss, though you know it puts you out of integrity?
These three motivations are what get us out of the bed.
Seek pleasure
Pleasure is more than just sex. Seeking pleasure is what motivates many addicts. It is what drives us to please our spouses. It also is what drives us to want to make friends and to get paid for our hard work. Seeking pleasure is also the reason we take up hobbies and other things that bring us satisfaction. Satisfaction is a type of pleasure. Approval is also a type of pleasure.
When we get approval from somebody we are sure that we’re not going to be tossed out of the tribe. This is one of the large reasons nice guys do what they do. Nice guys want to please the women in their life that’s why they manipulate so many people to try to force people to like them. Nice guys need satisfaction and the pleasure to come from those around them. The Nice guy doesn’t seek personal approval he doesn’t seek internal validation. The nice guy is a codependent who requires validation from other people.
To be able to get the pleasure that they want they’re going to do the manipulation, because of the second layer of the motivational triad this is also why nice guys do covert contracts and we’ll get into that in the next section.
avoid pain
There’s nothing scarier than pain. Often you’ll hear kids ask will it hurt? But pain isn’t just physical pain it is also it’s not even emotional pain people associate discomfort with pain.
Nice guys create covert contracts because they don’t wanna have to deal with this comfort pain of possibly being rejected. We often avoid having those uncomfortable discussions because of this part of the motivational triad.
As humans we often Don’t want to do things that create pain for us. That can be admitting to something wrong. That can be us not wanting to go out of the house. This is what causes us to avoid doing the hard scary things in life. Our mind is programmed to avoid that pain. Instead we need to use that pain as a compass
stay and remain efficient
This third part of the motivational triad is the reason we develop habits because our brain wants to make sure that it stays as efficient as possible so it’s easier for the mind to dive into a habit than it is to learn something new. Learning something new means that there’s a lot more energy that has to be burned a lot more energy being burned means that we are burning off more energy than normal or more energy than we have to and white if we don’t get to eat later on today? Then that means that our learning could possibly have killed us.
So having to pay attention to every little detail is energy intensive for the brain. So the brain going to find ways to reduce that energy consumption. It does that by forming habits. This part of the motivational triad is why our habits system exists. You can look at it as the low-power mode of our mind if he can throw stuff into that better.
Yet this also is where our brain likes to turn to when it “doesn’t know“ if it doesn’t have to work to come up with an answer if deems that better.
So What does this mean?
It means that we are able to make changes to what we do if we are aware of the whys that we do. If you understand why you dont wnat to do something scary you can actualy do that scary thing. You mind doesn’t want you to get killed. So how do you remove that fear? By understanding why that fear exisists in the first place.
If you would like help in getting to the best you. Reach out and lets talk and see how I can help you.
