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You are an Individual

You may already know this but you are your own person. What? Yeah, crazy I know, but there seems to be a movement going on where it is somehow wrong to be autonomous. If you are looking out for yourself you are the bad guy. You need to take everyone else into account before you do something for yourself. 

This line of thinking is off not just a little but it is way off. Our society is based on the strength and perseverance of the individual. The Man who strikes out to prove everybody that they are wrong. Without that the Americas wouldn’t have been discovered when they were. Great innovations happened because we thumbed our noses at those who said we can’t do that. 

Without dedication, Thomas Edison wouldn’t have powered through his 10,000 ways to not make a light bulb. WIthout the pioneer spirit that is ingrained in all men there wouldn’t have been any Louis or Clark. The ability to dream and strike out for that dream would have meant that nobody would have gone on the Oregon train because the Oregon trail wouldn’t have existed. 

If we looked out for everybody else first then we would still be sitting in our caves making sure that the hunter didn’t leave to get food because that hunter is also the person who protected the tribe.

The Collective Reduces You

Now there is a lot of talk about the collective and collectivism. As a man who wants the best for you and your family, this needs to scare you. Because it isn’t about what you think is best it is what the collective thinks is best. Do you bust your but and work hard for the money you earn? Good, that is how it is supposed to be you earned the values you have acquired. Yet there are those who would like for you to work hard for those who don’t provide as much value. 

You spend your time away from your family. There are deadlines that require you to put in late nights. You have a boss that is depending on you and your team to get your project done. If you succeed, should Kevin in accounting get a portion of those accolades? When you land the Macendrick account after weeks of negotiations who should get the rewards for the work? Frank in shipping, or Ralph in development? No, they had their part and they get their own rewards for the work they did. but you are the winner for getting 10,000 units sold.

group of people having neon party
Photo by Marcin Dampc on Pexels.com

When people talk about the collective that is exactly what people are talking about. You should sacrifice for the betterment of the whole. That needs to be frightening to the man because that takes your agency and puts it into the hands of people who don’t know what your strengths and weaknesses are. 

If you have spent many years working to have a nice house and two cars in your garage yet the collective ascertains you only drive one car on most days. They can choose that you really don’t need that second vehicle. Who cares that you are still paying for that second car. There is a family on the other side of town that could really use your car so you need to give it up for the good of society.

Keep Everyone Safe

This is happening now, people talk about how we need to keep “everyone safe” so give up your business. You have to keep people safe. Who cares that your mother is dying, you need to keep everyone safe. There are whole cities that are locking down because they want to keep everyone safe. It isn’t the government’s responsibility. It is the people’s responsibility to keep themselves safe or to not keep themselves safe. People are expected to sacrifice for the safety of the whole.

In all reality, it is the opposite. Each person needs to assess the risks, as with everything in their life. If they choose to take a risk and they get sick, then it is on them. If they choose to cross the road at the wrong time, again it is on them. Maybe the driver is paying attention, maybe not.

Now collectivists may scream if someone gets sick then they are spreading it around. They are not wrong. Again it is on each person to take the needed risk. If they don’t want to take the risk so be it. Those that are healthy can choose to avoid others and to barricade themselves in their domicile, or they may say they have to go out and make money so they can buy the 37 packages of toilet paper. That is their choice. That is their responsibility. 

health workers wearing face mask
Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

We all are selfish

Now the collective likes to make it a point to say that we have to go as a whole. As I said before that is the worst thing you can do. As a whole, you don’t grow. You end up relying on someone who is relying on someone who is relying on someone else. Each person is relying on another person so that nobody is going to take the initiative to do what is needed. Because nobody wants to be seen as selfish. 

Want a good example? What is the last good thing to be created by China? They are all about the collective. The Chinese government has full control. You don’t have a say as to what you think. If you don’t think as the party wants you to think you could at best be like the Uighurs. Be rounded up and shipped off to reeducation camps or you may just disappear. Yet there is no innovation going on in China. They are able to process all the fresh ideas from those people outside of the collective. They are able to steal ideas from those folks outside of the collective but There really aren’t any fresh ideas coming from China.

pensive young ethnic man resting on balcony of indoor parking
Photo by Dziana Hasanbekava on Pexels.com

Being selfish isn’t a bad thing.

There are so many times that we express ourselves which is in direct opposition to the collective. No two people are the same. We are individuals and we naturally operate as individuals. Anytime you create something it is out of an act of selfish reasons. Because you wanted to make it. You wanted to take that picture. You wanted to write the great American story. You want to make a million dollars. Those are all selfish and good acts. You cant help the poor unless you have money. This is a good time to talk about the dangers of altruism.

Altruism is bad

Yep, I said it the opposite of living a selfish life is altruism. Altruism is the 

The belief in or practice of disinterested and selfless concern for the well-being of others.

In other words, you help people at your own expense. WE have forced businesses to do this. They are supposed to provide a service but not get too good at it. Look at Google and their antitrust case the government is trying to raise. Why? Because too many people are choosing to use their services. They have too good of search function. Their browser is the most downloaded browser. They have the most popular phone operating system. Google has become so good that nobody else can compete. So they need to break themselves up. 

Europe has attacked Google many times for showing people searching for information snippets of information. This is to help people to see if the results are relative to what they are wanting to know. 

Now many people are complaining that Google knows too much about them. Well, this has been the case since google started. They were able to collect information on people and use that information to help them find what they are looking for. Yet because they have become so good at what they do the government thinks they need to start making an inferior product. In other words, sacrifice themselves for the betterment of the collective. 

grey concrete building under blue sky
Photo by Mike van Schoonderwalt on Pexels.com

Well in all reality there are people who want their inferior products to be used, and think that they cant have a chance with google making such a good product. So for the sake of those who have crappier search engines and ad networks it is unfair that they can’t show up in google’s ranking as high.

This is often displayed by parents too. When a kid has a prized toy they don’t want to share. This could be out of fear that it gets broken most of the time and the interesting thing is they usually have it right. Their favorite toy many times end up being snapped because they are forced to sacrifice their prized possession to someone who will not appreciate it nearly as much.

You have people in society who are wanting you to sacrifice your livelihood because it isn’t fair that you are making money. They believe you need to sacrifice your property for those who don’t have any. The same thing will happen to that property as it does to that beloved toy it will more often than not be decreased in value because the tenants don’t appreciate the property as much as the property owner. Yet this is the case in many cities where the landlord cant evict a person because they can’t pay the rent. Yet the landlord is expected and often can be taken to court if they do not pay the upkeep for that apartment that isn’t generating any revenue for the landlord.

So we should just let the poor suffer?

No that is the farthest from what I am saying. We should help the poor when we can. We should help the poor when we want to. Causing the landlord to suffer when he is trying to provide a service and help the poor does neither the landlord nor the tenant any good. WIthout the landlord, there wouldn’t be any apartments or rental houses for the poor to stay in. It is the tenant’s responsibility to pay the rent when it is due or move out. 

Yeah, it may sound a bit harsh but in reality, it isn’t. Keeping the poor comfortable is actually doing them a disservice. If you have read anything else on this blog you know you cant improve till you are willing to face the discomfort you are running from.

One of my heroes said as much

The best way to help the poor is to make them uncomfortable in their own poverty.

Benjamin Franklin

Yet you can help the poor. And those who have had misfortune visit their doors. Just as I mentioned before not at your expense. You are not helping a person by taking your house payment and giving it to a person so they can pay their late rent. Help a person when it is actually equally beneficial. You cant take time out of your day and help a person to find a better-paying job. 

It centers around Responsibility

What should you do? Wel the key element is to take responsibility for yourself. When I say yourself, I mean you and your family. You have to take responsibility for your actions. What other people do is their responsibility. Altruism is about being responsible for others and not yourself. While being selfish and being the individual is about personal responsibility. You grow stronger when you take full responsibility for your individual actions.

This also means that Men Going Their Own Way is also not actually being individual. MGTOW’s are not taking responsibility for their actions. They are trying to dodge their responsibility for their actions. The guys who are going their own way think all women are against them and so they are giving up. Well, they don’t want to acknowledge their part in the scenario.

When you take responsibility for your actions you are causing yourself to stand out above the crowd which is again going against the collective.

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The Relaxed Male

The Relaxed Male
Bryan Goodwin

The Relaxed Male is a podcast that helps men find their purpose and learn to breathe. We offer solutions for when life gets tough. Whether it’s divorce or just the stress of everyday life, we can help you get back on your feet and be the man you want to be. You deserve more than what society tells us we should do as men. Be the father your children need, be the partner your spouse needs, and most importantly – be yourself! This all starts with you getting out of your own way and deciding how you are going to live life.