NEWS
Operation Tears of the 22 is having its retreat for Veterans again this year. But instead of Byrds Adventure Center, They are having it at Adam Sandoval‘s Kriver Campgrounds. You can get your tickets for 4 days of fun and jeeping around. There are going to be bands in the evening and I will be there coaching everyone who wants it and some people who don’t. So Sign up here!
Main topic
One of the biggest parts of having a fulfilling life is having that important network of masculine friends. The need to be able to meet and talk with other noble masculine men is often exactly what separates the men from the boys. Yet so many men don’t have a close-knit set of friends. Those 3 a.m. people who you know if you called them at any time of the night, they would be in their pickup and heading your way.
There is some stats that say that around 15% of men don’t have any close friends. While Men 30 years ago around half of the men had 6 or more friends while now the average is about 27% that have 6 or more friends
In today’s society when men get married they often drop their friends for their family. It almost seems like this is how it goes and some men will wrongly state that this is even in the bible. Which is a misquote. It is talking about men will leave their parents and turn to their wives for the family. It doesn’t mean they abandon their friends.
When a man is married this is a bigger reason that they have a group of men with who they can turn, and share their life. These masculine friends are the foundation for men to have healthy masculine lives. Yet in today’s society, it is not happening. So why do men need other men as friends and confidants?
Spreads the pain
Men take on a lot. They have the pressure of work and the pressure of family and trying to make sure that everyone is attended to while also bringing home meat for the family. Women in today’s society are just now really starting to understand what it takes to be a man and why men come home stressed. What pressure of the working world is actually like. Not saying they can’t handle it but there are advantages to being able to stay home with their kids.
So with all those times that suffering comes along, it is good for men to have other men in their lives. That is because men are able to process pain and negativity in a completely different way than what women do. We can take on more and we often see ourselves as being noble for sacrificing our health for our families. The problem is that if you don’t dump the weight it does cause problems. This is why s many men turn to alcohol and drugs. to deaden the pressure that they feel. They turn to these substances because they don’t realize that yes men can handle all that negativity but it is better when you let other strong noble masculine men help shoulder the load.
Men are meant to take on the negative painful events from those around them yet. We then turn around and deny our friends the opportunity to do what we do best. Help our brothers who need that positive lift. A good way to look at this is to try to lift a car by yourself is next to impossible, unless it is a smart car and you are Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson. Yet if you take 10 men they can lift and move a car with greater ease.
This goes for your suffering and personal and professional pressures. Talk to your band of brothers and let them know that your wife is being distant. That you just got let go of your job and you don’t know what to do. These times that you are suffering are the times you need your male friends. These masculine men are up for the challenge and can take the negative energy from you and spread that weight out amongst themselves and replace it with positive energy. That way you can share that positivity with your wife and kids.
Beacon of positive light
Speaking of positive light, men you are the beacon of positivity for your family. When you are positive and light the family knows that their world is good. When you are dour and negative your family responds to that. You aren’t helping them live you are just spreading out the suffering to those who you are supposed to protect.
This is why you give the negative to your close friends and they give you light. While you do the same for them. You and your friends can then return to each family and spread that light.
Learn to be more masculine
This is a tough one for the nice guys in the world. The nice guy often works very hard to be seen in the positive for the women in his life. that could be the teachers in school to their moms and their wife.
Because men see through bull very easily and often will call out another crap. This is something Nice guys want to avoid. The emotional response isn’t as easily controlled in men. So nice guys work very hard to avoid men so that they can manipulate the women who they see as easier. Nice guys don’t realize that they are cutting off their noses to spite their faces.
Nice guys are afraid of masculinity and this is why so many are “feminists” and cry toxic masculinity when they see men being real men. Yet they desperately want what those men have. The only way you can become more masculine isn’t by claiming you’re an alpha and calling other males betas. No, you have to go and hang around other masculine men.
Better mental health
Now I have pointed at this a couple of times in this podcast episode but let’s just finally say it outright. Men need other men in their lives for their own mental health’s sake. Because you are able to share the pressures of your life with other men. You are able to relieve yourself of many mental problems. You also have the pleasure and satisfaction of being able to help those who are close to you.
These men also push you to better yourself and encourage you to be in the pursuit of your purpose. Yeah, they may not agree with how you go at it but that is just fine. Because they know you will succeed. Men, you need other men in your life. For your health and happiness.
Your wife isn’t going to provide you with that happiness and fulfillment. She will do her part in it but when you are missing a critical part you are putting undue pressure on her. Want a better marriage then get some male friends.
Want help finding your band of brothers?
Join our Brotherhood of Men group
