People can be absolutely fascinating. Us humans so many times do things that baffle other people. We jump to conclusions we tell fascinating stories about a circumstance. Their times that we will have great easy-going conversations with other folks, and then one word will change the whole attitude and emotional being of that conversation.
And well, a lot of people will stand around and go. What’s that about? Other people make up stories about what they just saw. And then they have their own thoughts and emotional reactions to the same circumstance.
Why do people act the way they do? How can one word cause a person to become so defensive? How come circumstances can cause a normally respectful person to turn into an all-out asshole? What causes someone who claims to not like drama to be buried neck-deep in drama? Why do we seem to always cause our suffering? These are all big huge questions that philosophers have had about for centuries and millennia. Well, there is an answer that explains why people do dumb things. Why one sentence can be spun off into a myriad of excuses and stories and other problems?
Do not bury the lead the answer is between your ears. And we’re gonna dive deeper into this.
Why do people suddenly fight?
As I mentioned earlier, it’s about the thoughts that a person has when somebody comments. Even though that comment is not directed at anybody, someone takes that personally. You may have a wife who takes a harmless comment and makes it mean that you wanted a divorce. Even though divorce wasn’t even on your mind. Why do people react in this way?
The key to this action and any other action is people just better about themselves. That’s all. Yeah, you’ll notice that getting into a fight whether verbal or physical doesn’t achieve that in the long run because of the results of their actions.
People respond with a thought about a circumstance. That thought generates the feeling that they have. They don’t like the emotion that is stirred up within them and so they have a thought about what that emotion means. They want to stop that initial emotion from happening, so they have a thought about, the emotion. This is when people start getting combative. This is where the conflict happens.
It’s not about the fact that you said you don’t believe in aliens it’s because the other person took the fact that you don’t believe in aliens to mean that they are crazy, because they do believe in aliens. And so since the alien guy feels threatened, he needs to make himself feel better by justifying why. Or by punching the other guy in the nose. Everything we do, we do to make ourselves feel better.
Why do they buffer?
Buffering is anything that keeps you from feeling the emotions that you’re feeling right now. And so everything that we do is some form of buffering if we do not live an intentional life.
Some people turn to food and they overeat as a means of not feeling the emotion that they aren’t happy with their weight. Some people turn to video games as a means to avoid boredom. Some people try to drown out their thoughts by drinking alcohol. All other people would rather feel numb than feel an unpleasant emotion.
Buffering is the ultimate example of us wanting to do anything and then feeling an unpleasant emotion. We would rather make ourselves sick than feel ashamed we would rather destroy our integrity and get drunk than to feel disempowered.
We would rather smoke enough pot so that our thoughts aren’t straight because we might accidentally have the thought that we’re not doing our father proud.
This is work that you can accomplish by living with an intentional thought. When you start being mindful of the reasons behind your actions. When you start having the intentional thoughts of how you really wanna feel you can start leading a better life.
Why do they avoid doing what’s needed to be done?
Along with buffering, we also turn to indulgent emotions. For Instance, confusion, overwhelm, and frustration, as it means not doing what we need to do at that time. It’s easier to procrastinate than to be intentional in your actions.
I understand a lot of people have used ADHD as an excuse as to why they don’t get the projects done. But that’s not the reason why. If you’re being intentional with your thoughts, and in your actions, you can accomplish what you set out to do that day. But to tell yourself That it’s just your ADHD isn’t true.
Trying to get something done perfectly and aiming for perfection is another excuse as to why you don’t get your projects done. It’s easier to work on one thing over and over and over again trying to get an A+++. Because you accomplish the sensation that you’re doing something without actually doing the actual task that needs to be done.
We love to tell ourselves lies so that we can feel like we’re doing something so that we can feel that we’re getting something done so we can feel that we are accomplishing something when in all reality, we don’t wanna face the fact that we aren’t doing anything that will move the ball forward.
Why do people jump to conclusions?
We often like to jump to conclusions because people get a little too close to the truth. We often get angry because someone said something that we have been working really hard to hide from society. Yet when somebody gets really close, we jump to the conclusion that that person is being mean. When they were just in reality just making an observation. They had no idea that it was going to cause the problems that it did. They didn’t know that them saying that was going to cause you to want to hurt your feelings. That person wasn’t out to hurt your feelings and they didn’t hurt your feelings, but we have jumped to the conclusion that they did hurt our feelings.
We jump to conclusions because we don’t want to feel the shame of them being right.
We struggle all the time with our emotions. We want to avoid what we perceive to be negative emotions. So to do that we will act out in irrational ways. We aren’t trying to hurt anybody’s feelings. We just want to feel better. We don’t like the dis-ease that we feel normally. So we find some ways to alter that feeling. We want to feel closer to our wife, but we take her nagging to mean that we are being inadequate. And with that feeling of inadequacy, we start to pout. Nap, pouting, severs more connections than they build together. So we often unintentionally do the very opposite thing that we truly want in our lives.
This is why we have to start becoming more intentional. When we become more intentional. When we become more intentional, when we become more mindful of the thoughts that we have, we can then examine those thoughts as they happen. We can decide do we really want to go down this Avenue or do we want to change course. And it is truly fascinating when you step back and you watch how you’re thinking. It’s truly fascinating when you step back and you see how other people are thinking. What if you can’t read other people’s minds? What do you think their words are? Those are their thoughts that they’re having they’re sharing their thoughts they’re sharing what they’re feeling feel emotions but you can hear that there. They’re having a thought that leads them down to fear or anger or frustration or dower feelings. So how do you start having a better relationship? By paying attention watch your thinking jump to conclusions. Ask yourself what are you making this circumstance mean. Does this truly serve you? And take yourself out of the circumstance and the feelings when you ask those types of questions. When you start doing that, you’re gonna start seeing the world open up. You’re gonna start finding joy all around you. You’re gonna find times that you are happy and content while everyone else is losing their mind. Because you see that yes their emotions are their emotions, but you can actually look at the world from a different angle and see how wonderful it truly is.
