Many times we will inadvertantly elevate someone to a higher level of status than we wanted to. I had something happen here recently that caused me to realize that I had actually elevated a man to an unheard of level of integrity. Then when he showed me that he didn’t believe all that he stated. To say the least, I had thoughts that I was betrayed, and he had sold out to the Woke mind virus. I wanted to set my heels and almost punish him for violating, my standards, by keeping the proof that he was a hypocrite up on my site.
Yet after a a couple of weeks of processing the thoughts, I saw the circumstance in a different light. Yet this showed that I was petty and I was way out of integrity too. I was out of integrity because I put a man on a pedestal and I was pissed off that he fell. I was mad that he wanted to change markets and he was afraid that those who are against masculinity wouldn’t buy from him, and he was right they wouldn’t. I could grant him compassion because of his scarcity mindset and understand that he was struggling like we all do in this challenging world we have today. So I took the episode down where I could. There are some places where the episode is up and it is out of my control. However, I have seen why took the circumstance as hard as I did and what did I learn from it.
Nobody is perfect.
We all have ideas and we often fall short of reaching them. The key is to get up and try again. Yes, we will fail over and over till we get to the point that we are satisfied with what we have done. Then we will make a turn and possibly go in a different direction. Some people will understand while others won’t.
Be OK with that.
We all have our reasons and they don’t have to make sense
Why did the gentleman change directions? Dont know and frankly, it’s none of my business. He has his reasons and I have no right to know why. I can make assumptions and they may be right, or they may be wrong. What they are, are thoughts. So to think you are being betrayed or hornswoggled is just you contributing to your own suffering.
Let them have their own thoughts, and funny enough those thoughts don’t have to make sense to you because they aren’t your thoughts.
Pedestals are dangerous
I have talked many times about the danger of putting your girl on a pedestal. Why? It is not fair to her. She didn’t want to be up there, and it isn’t fair to how you react when she does eventually fall. The same goes for the men in your life.
Are you showing up as you intended
The question needs to be asked all the time. Especially as an after-action review. Do you want to show up as a caring man or a thuggish brute? The outcome is based on how you show up. If you want to be a person that people look to then you have to show up in a way that serves that thought. If you want to be the go-to guy for your children to get knowledge on then you don’t blow up and yell because they messed up your wall.
This is the heart of living an intentional life. When you know you shed up the way you intended to you are more relaxed and at ease. You are happier and those around you follow that example.
If I want to be seen as an example of how men can live their life getting angry and petty isn’t going to do me any favors.
People have their own paths
People are going to take their own path. That path isn’t yours. We may want them to continue on the path they were on yet they don’t always travel in the same direction. So there are times when those relationships will diverge and they will end. There are times that we travel with great men and it does hurt when you see them fall, however, you can choose to curse them for betraying you or you can hope they have better journeys ahead as they continue without you by their side.
We also have to swallow our pride a bit and to think that they need us is a cruel joke on us. The other people who have let us down don’t actually need us. We just happen to really like them.
Hold to Your Principles
This is who you are. What do you stand for? What philosophy do you base your life on? You need your principles and you turn to those every time you face a hard decision. If you do not have principles you will struggle to know where to turn. Principles are the guideposts for how you want to live. Do you want to live a life of honor? How about honesty? If you want those then you have to be the example of what that means. This also points to, if someone changes their principles, you have a choice to make. What does that new principle mean to you, may not mean the same thing to the other person so you have more choices to make.
You see we are people and our emotions are beautiful and messy. We have thoughts that create the differing feelings that flow through us. We have to be on our toes at all times and see if we are being the men we want to be. If not then how do we change? How do we become the best? We become the best by working at it over and over again.
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