What women for in a man. This week’s attention was brought to the fact that there are so many single men out there in society. This astounds me to no end. That is because somehow I was able to find a woman who would marry me despite my looks and other unimposing features yet I was still able to find a good woman who is willing to stand by my side.
Then I came across this psychology today blog post about the rise of the single lonely man. The thoughts that arose from reading this article are that maybe men have forgotten, or maybe didn’t learn the basics of what it takes to attract a woman. To find the special someone who will spend the rest of their life with. So I wanted to tackle this with 7 traits real women are looking for in a man.
Women wants a man who can hold a conversation
Women are actually different than men. Unlike how many college students are taught these days. Yes, we have many similarities. Yet there are physical and mental differences between men versus women.
Men, we can have very shallow conversations. We are content with just being in proximity to others. Women, on the other hand, conversations are where women get their sense of connection comes from.
So for you, you have to talk and ask questions. This can be a bit of a skill jump that you have to face but it isn’t that hard there are plenty of books on how to have compelling conversations.
These conversations are also at times suppose to go deep. Share your views and embrace the fact that your wife or your girlfriend has a totally different view of the same circumstance. The difference in thoughts is what can make a discussion good. When you can talk about a topic in disagreement and keep your emotions out of the way. This is where the deeper connection you have with your girlfriend or potential wife comes into play
These conversations that can go lay into the night are a woman’s dream. Us men can also have a good discussion and learn lots about the woman in turn because we are willing to have these deep and compelling conversations.
So if you want to be able to get a woman’s clothes off you have to first undress her mind by engaging it. Let her share her thoughts and you be ok with what she says. Her connection depends on her thoughts about how safe she feels. So get to talking and don’t rush the sex part it will happen when you provide enough intellectual value to her.
When she is safe and knows that she’s not going to be attacked for her own thoughts this is where the connection comes into play.
So to expand your ways of engaging a woman’s mind start reading. The more you read the more interesting you become. The more interesting you become the more attractive you are. This is one reason the man’s mind pillar is so important.
A man who is capable of protecting her and her offspring
A woman wants a man who is capable of taking care of not just himself but of her too. Now you may hear different things when talking to woke feminists. You may hear these types of women need a man like a dish needs a bicycle. Yet these feminists can’t explain why they are attracted to men who are rugged and strong. Why do you think the Marvel Cinematic Universe is full of strong men who are in incredible shape? Just look at how Haley Atwell’s touching of Chris Even’s chest in Captain America: First Avenger. That wasn’t scripted; she almost broke character because of his looks.
Women Like their men to be in shape. What do you think would be your most admirable feature if you were fat and out of shape? Do you need to be at 3% body fat? No, but as long as you work at keeping some semblance of strength and endurance you will look more attractive to women.
Sadly many men today are out of shape. Some so many men are out of shape and fat that the Army has had to lower its expectations of recruits. So, yes there are way too many of you who are out of shape. Now I am one to talk, being about 70 pounds too heavy for where I want to be. I do understand the problem as to why it is easy to become fat. It is very easy for us men to pack on the pounds. We would rather sit in front of the television and watch something entertaining than going outside and break a sweat.
Yet, if you want a woman to look at you lustfully, you are going to need to work on yourself. Start getting your but outside and at least walk more than you have.
This is why there is the Second pillar of the relaxed male. We have to take care of ourselves. We have to be able to fight off an attacker if need be. We are offered a better chance if you don’t have to also be moving an extra 35-100 extra pounds of fat. What I’m fat shaming? No, that shame you are feeling is your thoughts about you agreeing with what I am saying.
Women want men who take care of themselves
While this can be part of the Man’s Body pillar from above this also goes with if you want a woman to notice you and be willing to consider you as a potential candidate for marriage you need to present yourself as a worthy candidate.
This means dressing better. Find a style that you like and start dressing up. Up your damn style game man!
This is an easy place to start. I see way too many men walking around in Pajama pants and shorts that would put you head and shoulders above the others, if you just put on a pair of clean jeans. and wore an ironed polo shirt while out and about. Then everything you do on top of that is just a little extra shine.
Now I am not saying that you have to be walking around in a tuxedo. However, if you were to get a Black suit. They have a Navy Blue Suit, a Brown suit, a tan suit, and a grey suit. Then have 2 white shirts, 2 cream-colored shirts, and 2 powder blue shirts. You will have 75 different suits with those combinations of suits.
Start taking daily showers. Yeah, it sounds like that should be a no-duh statement yet I smell many of you and you boys stink! So take a shower with deodorant soap. I wouldn’t even worry about whether it has endocrine disrupters or not. You would be more attractive as long as your Body odor doesn’t make a gargoyle flinch.
So make yourself smell nice shave if you can’t grow a good full beard. If your beard is scruffy shave it off. it will fill in as you continue to mature. If you simply can’t grow a beard then stop trying for a while. Some men have more native American in them than Vikings. That is alright. You won’t be discounted in your manliness simply because you can or can’t grow a beard. I have shaved for many years before I started my beard and I still wonder if It is working for me.
The objective is to look sharp and smell pleasant. So stop the shorts and stained tank tops and smelling like you are homeless and show folks that you take care of yourself. If you take care of yourself, you up your game every time.
They Want A man who can provide for the family
Now, these days men aren’t going to college as much as women. Many people are saying this is why there aren’t as many men dating. That could very well be why. More women are being dragged into useless gender studies and being told they are victims of the patriarchy. Instead of meeting guys who are good solid men. Because of this women are going to be able to get higher-paying corporate jobs. So does that mean there will be a wage gap swinging the other way? only when it comes to corporate jobs.
In other instances, No there are still plenty of ways for us to be the breadwinner. Men can go for the highly respected trades job. Be it welding, plumbing, or electrical work. Men are making $100,000+ for these positions and then add a Master’s license, you add even more value to your work and you make even more. If you are a man who is Mr, Momming it. Then you are in a better position to even start your own endeavor and be a work-from-home parent. The options are close to limitless.
Why am I mentioning this? Because women want to know that they are going to be provided for. Yeah, they will not get that sensation if you are sitting at the house and just cleaning. You have to be moving down the road. To do that you have to be applying the Man’s Soul Pillar.
The closer you are to earning as much as your wife the better while the best option is that you are making more than her. It doesn’t have to be but if you aren’t providing for your wife then sadly you aren’t as much value to her as someone who makes more money than her.
This is one of the sad results of today’s culture. Women still look at men as success, objects and we are rightfully so.
The woman has the right to be picky. This is because she takes the most risk if she gets pregnant. Therefore, she needs to know that the risk is balanced. A man can’t do that if he is just doing a part-time job at taco bell while she is out busting her hump to bring in $!00,000 a year.
So get out there and find a way to make the most for the family legally speaking.
Man who is driven
Another part of Man’s Soul Pillar that is important to make you more attractive to women is that men need to have a purpose. They have to have a reason to get out of bed each morning. If you don’t know your purpose yet, that is fine you can find your reason. It takes time and as long as you are looking for your why then you have a purpose.
Now if you start dating a woman and things start getting pretty intense then know that she will start testing you to see how much this purpose means to you. She will find ways to try to get between you and your purpose. Why? because she wants to know how dedicated you are to your cause. It also has to do with her thoughts but those thoughts are secondary to why she will test you.
A man with a purpose is the most attractive aspect to a woman and I firmly believe that is why marriage stays or crumbles. If the man loses his “why” and becomes sedentary why would any woman want to stay? Find your purpose and chase it, doing so shows a light in you that attracts women and men to you. They will want to know what you have and want to know how they can have it too.
Women want a Man who lives his life on his terms
What would your life look like if you dint’ change who you were just because of people? How would you act? How would you talk? How would you behave? This is a hard scary question for Nice guys. How would they think, If they didn’t have to worry about what other people think? So many times we, as men, sacrifice our integrity and self for the sake of another person.
To live your life in this fashion is scary to society. To be who you are. To speak your mind. Do not compromise on your values and or ethics. To live your life and be beholden to only one person. That scares most people in society to death.
Yet To live as who you are supposed to be. is the best way to attract a woman. She can’t explain it, nor can I. Yet this is why the bad boys always get the girl. Even if those women get hurt. They want a man who knows what they want and expresses it. They don’t hymn and haw around the bush. They speak assertively and plainly. These men are the leaders. They make decisions and see it to the end. This is living in true freedom. Using your mind and your thoughts to create solutions. Following your path and not just blindly following someone else’s path and dream.
It’s not easy to do especially for a recovering nice guy but when you start doing so, you will have so many thoughts about the what if.
Women want men who have friends
One thing that men sadly do more often than not is that they give up their guy friends after they get married or get deeper in to their relationship. THis is just asking from trouble. Men you need a band of brothers you go and hang with on a regular basis. This is the same for women. THey have girlfriends to go and see, Men do the same.
THe problem is that women get tired of being around their wife day in and day out. Men you get tired of it too. I know that it seems like that is what you are supposed to do but its not. You need to spend time with other men so that you are able to get a fresh injectin of masculinity. The only way you are going to do that is if you are around other men.
Women want a differentiated relationship
Another point that you will want to work on is being a differentiated human. Where you gain your self-worth from nobody else but yourself. You don’t need your girlfriend to tell you you did a good job. You don’t need your wife to tell you she is proud of you. If they do that’s just icing on the cake. The person who needs to affirm your worth is the only person who can make you feel worthy, and that person is you. Can you do that?
This isn’t MGTOW by any stretch of the imagination. MGTOW people are those with a victim mindset and they believe that the only way they can stop being a victim of society is to pack up their toys and leave. They stop partaking in society and instead leave society and then wonder why they are lonely. Well, the answer is in the fact that they have gone their own way.
You see codependent relationships rely on the other person to do something they have no power to do. They are somehow supposed to make you feel better. You will hear nice guys walk around and say, “I just want my wife or girlfriend to make me feel supported”. These people can’t make you feel anything. The only place feeling comes from is from your thoughts.
So you have to know how to affirm your own actions. That is why you have to live your life on your terms. If the girl you are wanting to date tells you to take a hike can you be OK with that? Not try to lash out at her but be genuinely OK with her answer? Nice guys struggle with rejection because they take that to mean they are not worthy. No, it just means that woman isn’t your type.
The same goes for if you are married and your wife gets mad. It’s not actually doesn’t mean anything about you. Her anger comes from her thoughts about a circumstance that involves her. If you can be OK with that you are well on your way to ending the cycle of codependency and living your life on your terms. You will be willing to allow your wife or girlfriend or even your boss to be angry and you can be there as they work through it. Just as long as you aren’t trying to fix it.
Women don’t want a nice guy
Now if you haven’t noticed yet. How do you attract more women into your life? Stop being the nice guy. How do you build a better connection with your wife? You stop being the nice guy. You start working on the 4 pillars of a relaxed male and stop worrying about other people’s emotions. You have your hands full with your thoughts and emotions. stop taking on other people’s emotional burdens. Stop being an emotional burden on other people. Accept that your feelings are from your thoughts and start working on those thoughts.
The nice guy is not nice yet the big problem most nice guys have is that they decide that if they aren’t going to be nice that they must be jerks and that’s incorrect also. A nice guy and a jerk are two sides of the same asshole. You have to be able to be kind and accepting of people for who they are. Let them live their life on their terms. Fight the urge to tell another person how to live their life. I know it’s hard. I was always doing that for years. It doesn’t end up well for you or the person you are dishing advice to. Offer advice if they ask for it. Yet know that 99% of the time if you want them to do something good for them it has to become their idea.
So how do you get women to be attracted to you? You live your life on your terms and allow the other person to live their life on their terms. Stop running to their rescue but be there for them. Just find your purpose and pursue it with all your heart. You will find men and women coming to you for help in their light. Help them find their path and continue on yours.
If you want help getting out of the rut of being the nice guy why not schedule a consult and let’s see how we can work together?
