This is a continuing series of our examinations of the different types of intimacies that are described in the Choose Therapy post, 10 Types of Intimacy. We have looked at a couple of other types of intimacy because I understand that we men want intimacy. Yet, did you realize that there was more than just physical intimacy? I get a couple but there are a few that are just a little out there. Therefore it was a good thing to sit down and examine the examples of intimacy in a relationship. It would help you better understand an element that your wife needs so you both can have a better understanding of each other.
- Physical
- Emotional
- Intellectual
- Spiritual
- Experiential
- Social
- Creative
- Conflict
- Aesthetic
- Work
Do you remember those trips you used to take with your wife? You would go and make a weekend of a city that was 4 hours down the road. You would hear of a little spot out in the middle of nowhere and you and your wife would make a day of it. You would go to museums and see the touristy thing in your area. That time you and her went out and found that hidden little grove of pecan trees and you both made love so tender and passionately that you didn’t even hear the deer that had come to get a drink.
We have many of these different experiences. The intimacy of those times we learned something new or shared is what bonds us together. This intimacy is often found in people who go through harrowing experiences together. Soldiers who go through boot camp together will often share and talk about their experiences. This is why men come together at VFW posts. That way they can be around people who have had similar experiences.
We share so many different moments with each other that after a while we lose the novelty of the experiences and just life taking over.
Why is Experiential Intimacy important?
Our experiences are what bind us together
How to Build Your Experiential Intimacy
Now it may be true that your experiences have faded as you let life take you down the river, however, you can create new experiences. You haven’t done it all even though you haven’t.
Key points to understand
You both don’t have to love the adventure but revel in the experience your significant other is having. These shared experiences and the stories that result from them are the elements of experiential intimacy.
Go do something new
Doing things new and exciting gets you out of your comfort zone. When you are out of your comfort zone and your partner is out of their comfort zone, you have the opportunity to have a stronger relationship because of it.
Now it’s also very easy to cause riffs in a relationship when you’re in a new environment. So you have to really pay attention to what your thoughts are and pay attention to why you’re having those thoughts. this is so you do not fall into victim and blaming mode because you’re being uncomfortable.
Now wanna say something new that doesn’t necessarily mean you have to do a Remodeling project with your wife, in my experience that often doesn’t go well. So if you aren’t aware of how you and your wife work together, you might start with something easier and less challenging.
Build a Lego set
Try a Couples Retreat
- Get Couples Counseling
- Get couples coaching
- Volunteer
- Go camping
- Find an interesting place to go to.
- Go on individual trips and then share.
This is what your wife is talking about when she says you don’t open up to her anymore. She wants to experience life with you. She wants to be a part of your life She wants to experience life with you. Have different experiences, and revel in what you learn from each other. This builds the intimacy you both are craving. Yeah, it takes time but that time is the experience.
