How many times have you kept hitting the same wall over and over?
How do you view events in your life?
As we talked a couple of weeks ago about viewing your circumstances How do you act during a circumstance? Do you get riled up over some random dude cutting you off in traffic or do you just wave and carry on? Do you wonder why you are always finding the same women when you date? Maybe they are drama magnets or always having some type of emergency for you to come to the rescue?
How about your kids? You have told them they can come to you for anything and yet when they do tell you they have and in algebra do you yell, scream and ground them for the rest of their life? Then when they are truly in trouble you find out they have been talking to that sketchy neighbor down at the end of the block. Ever wonder why they turn to them and not you?
That could be because of the way you are seeing the world. Do you see doom and gloom all over the place? If you listen to any news these days I am sure you have some worry from one side of the aisle or the other.
What would happen if you change the prescription?
What would happen if you changed how you looked at the world? How would the world look if you stopped looking at the world as if it was out to get you and started looking at the world as if it was full of potential?
How would you show up if you stopped thinking your ex was out to skin you for all that you had and started letting them just be as unhinged as they wanted to be? How would you show up for your kids if you chose to not let the Ex’s antics affect you?
Unconditional love
It’s not rose-colored glasses. This is instead looking at everybody as if you are in a Disney cartoon. No, you have the choice to look at any relationship in your life and choose love as the lens you are seeing in life.
Your son could show up with a D and you could show love. You can still provide consequences for that deficiency but you could do it in a way that you are showing your son that you love him and you are trying to help him. Yeah, there may be times that swats are needed but you can also do that out of love. Then again you may be able to choose a different action. Maybe you can actually give him chance to explain that he isn’t able to see the board. There are a lot of better reactions to having when you come through life with the prescription of love than through the lens of anger or fear?
What to do
Stop
Deep breath
Ask yourself how would you like to show up?
Is being worked up really serving your purpose?
Pay attention to the words you tell yourself. If you say anything like
if so and so would…
I would if…
I would like to but…
I cant
Not while…
If you are pointing the finger at anybody other than yourself then you are playing the victim. You are not claiming your responsibility for your actions. and guess what they are all thoughts. There is not one single slice of fact in any of those statements. You are passing your power off to anybody if you are not taking the blame for your actions.
If you want help changing your prescription let me know. I can help you look at what you are thinking and see what lens of life you are using. That lens may have served you for a while but now there is a better one you can try. If you are interested let’s have a consultation and see what’s possible.
