You tell yourself that you are going to make changes. You get all the equipment ready, make plans, and have standby plans in case you find yourself wavering. When it’s time to start…
Nothin’ Nope you aren’t getting anything going. You rack your mind trying to figure out what is holding you back. What are you waiting for? You know what you need to do but you won’t do it. Why?
This is the stuck feeling that everyone is talking about. You feel stuck. Your mind goes off the rails trying to piece together why you are failing at even starting.
Maybe you actually got started but went just a little way on your journey, and boom, you are stuck. You are not sure where you should go or what you need to do. Some people may call this feeling a mental spin or confusion. Whatever you call it it is annoying and we wish it would stop because it is getting in the way of our success.
What is this feeling?
This feeling is an emotion. Anytime you hear “I feel” it is a feeling that is created from a thought. That thought is often, but not always, based on fear and uncertainty. As a whole, that feeling of being stuck and feeling confused is an indulgent emotion that holds you at a stage of your journey. If you were to equate indulgent emotions to the journey of Odysseus. Indulgence could be the Sirens. It sounds great and useful to be in a state of uncertainty but in the end, it is only holding you from your greatness. In other words, it is only there to make sure you play small and not do the hard objective that is set ahead of you.
How do you stop indulging the feeling of being stuck?
So how do you get out of the binds of being stuck? Many men have tried and failed to overcome the shackles of confusion, you are a mere mortal so what are you to do? Are there any special tactics you can use to stop feeling stuck?
Sort of, none of them is particularly easy, though they sound simple. To get unstuck you have to be intentional with what you are doing, and examine why you are holding back. Examine what the alternative is and then make a contingency plan.
Why are you indulging in this emotion?
First, it is good to understand why you are stalling. You can take several avenues to discover why from writing the thoughts behind your inactions down on paper and then examining each thought independently. This can also be a trap of perfection or its own form of indulgence if you are not careful.
You have to be honest with yourself which can be a bit of a challenge at first yet you can start to understand what thoughts are actually creating the emotions that are holding you back.
When you know the thoughts behind the emotions you can then work to change those thoughts.
If you would like help in this you can always ask for some coaching.
What is the alternative?
One way to change those thoughts is to examine the alternative. What would happen if you just went ahead and did it scared? What would happen if you just took the step even though you don’t know what the next step will be?
What would happen if you just gave up? Look at what all alternatives would be if did anything other than what you are doing right now. Which thought brings more motivation to you?
Examine what you are avoiding.
What is it about whatever are you avoiding? Examine each angle and understand what you are hoping to accomplish and what you are avoiding to accomplish. Setting up these pros and cons will help you find a better solution simply because you are going to better understand the reasons behind your actions.
Find an accountability partner.
If all else fails find an accountability partner. This is someone who will push you and encourage you to take those steps. Much like when you were learning to jump off the high dive. You were scared and unsure as to what would happen. Maybe you mess up and do a belly flop or even worse what if you hit your head and die? All of these are just thoughts. True they could happen but you are putting energy and fear into something that hasn’t even happened yet. What if you die? You won’t care. You will be dead. But you may actually be afraid of the pain if you don’t die.
So your accountability partner is someone who will call you out on your procrastination.
