To Be as Curious as a Child

I am a grandfather. Which makes me sound old, and if I look back I saw my grandparents turning 50 and thought man they were old. Yet, here I am turning 50 and thinking that it s not too old. I am getting weird pains in strange places that never hurt before. I still have hair growing in funny places like my back and ears. Yet I don’t see myself as old.

With that aside, I do have a brand-spanking new granddaughter who is one month old and she is finally starting to notice things around her. This takes me back to my kiddos and when they were in those for years of their life. It was amazing to watch them first learn about toys and the hard brutal truths of floors and gravity. To see them try to figure out how to navigate this world from such a low place. Learning about scootching and crawling. Learned that mom is always around even when she isn’t visible.

When they were older and they find out that bark is rough and rocks can be smooth grass is soft. As they grow up they learn to talk and one of the first questions they ask is why? This is when the growth and knowledge explosion happens. The kids who are the brightest are encouraged to keep exploring and if the curiosity isn’t extinguished in school they become greater as they turn to adulthood.

Children have always been far wiser than we adults want to admit. We can learn so much from our kids.

Why be curious?

Why? That is a great start to this post. To ask why is to be curious. and we are always curious. It’s just often about stuff that doesn’t matter in our life ad then we never go after the answer. We may ask why is that person doing that but never go and ask. It may be that they have a very viable reason for the nonsequitur actions. They may peel a banana from the other end than you. Why? Because it’s easier that’s why.

Being curious is how we have always learned about our world. It is how we learn about ourselves and others. How would we know what is possible unless we try stuff? The act of trying something is being curious. How do you make a million dollars in a year? I don’t know I haven’t done it, but I am trying. I keep posting blog posts and podcasts. I am building a webinar to help men who are going through a divorce so they are able to make it through this horrendous time without losing their minds.

Is it going to work? I don’t know I hope, it does because I have been putting a lot of effort into this project. Yet if it doesn’t then it doesn’t and I will have to figure something else out. How? By asking questions and finding answers. To find those answers you have to get curious about what is going on in your efforts. Those results add up.

What will being as curious as a child do for you?

It opens you up for more understanding. Why is your marriage falling apart? If you aren’t curious about that I would say that is one of the big reasons it failed. Being curious allows us to be open to different thoughts. We are able to see our spouse from their point of view. We can understand their stance more. When you are being curious, you are able to start to understand and with that curiosity, you can dig deeper.

We don’t have to accept those thoughts. Now your wife may have some thoughts that you completely disagree with. That is just fine. Nobody said you have to accept all thoughts as your own. They are her thoughts. You don’t have to run screaming from them, you don’t even have to take them on as your own. They are your wife’s, or girlfriend’s thoughts.

These thoughts help you to come to understand your spouse in a deeper way. You are able to see her fears and insights clearer than before. These thoughts don’t reflect on you at all. The only person who thinks that is you.

It is not going to help my situation.

How do you know? The fact that you are willing to make an “I’m gonna give up” statement like that shows your significant other that you don’t even want to try. You are afraid of the results it will bring. Fear is the curiosity killer. This is why the majority of people couldn’t tell you how their phone works. They couldn’t tell you what is going on in their kid’s schools. because people were too busy being in their own little dopamine-fueled world that they never bothered to ask. Then they wonder why their world changed when they actually looked up from their digital devices.

When that happened, parents started to get curious. They started to see what was happening. From there they got even more curious and as they got curious they got upset. So now because the adults actually started being curious about what was happening in schools there are huge changes coming about.

When you become curious you can change the world. When you stop being curious your world dies.

So, why is your marriage failing? Is it because you were too curious or were you not curious enough? Are you curious about the right things or are you just randomly curious about stuff? Most of the time we don’t get curious because of what we might find out. the fear kills our curiosity. Fear kills the very thing that helps us become better connected. We don’t want to find out that our wife thinks someone else is handsome because we don’t think we are handsome. So If she doesn’t think we are handsome then she will leave us. Yet you might find out that she thinks that actor is handsome because he has the same type of mustache as you do and it reminds her of you 10 years ago. you wouldn’t know that if you weren’t curious.

Seek the answer

Ask questions and pursue answers. The only thing scary about those answers is our thoughts about them. As we find out an answer that we may like that is where even more curiosity comes into play because you need to get curious about yourself too. Why did that answer bother you? what about your wife is it frustrating you? why? How? When? These are all questions you ask over and over again when you are actually curious about what is happening not only to your spouse and what she is saying but also to what you are doing in the process of the discussion. So go out and start teaching yourself to get curious again. You might be surprised who you find.