It is interesting to hear from this week’s video that 25% of marriages are in a state of Roommate Syndrome. Yet it does happen. The lack of sex in a marriage is a bit alarming yet it is what’s happening. This has always gone on in marriages throughout the ages. There is a time when people in a committed relationship just settle. They stop trying to stay connected. The nice guy in the picture knows that he is able to sit down at “His” television and do what he wants. While the wife goes to her “Television” and watches what she wants. They may take turns making supper but there is no spark. It is a marriage in name only. The bills are divided up and everyone just goes about their day with no waves.
This sounds nice till one person finds another person who does like to make waves. Then the other person wonders what went wrong. Why did their spouse leave? Roommate syndrome can be a sign that there are problems.
The different signs that you have a roommate and not a spouse are very telling.
Not sleeping in the same bed
Many claim sleep divorce and this is a sign that things aren’t as wonderful as they use to be. One spouse is sleeping in a different bed. It may be from someone snoring or maybe some other reason You and your spouse are not sleeping in the same bed each night that yall are in the same house. This is a sure sign that things have gone too far.
If you do sleep in the same bed you might also look at how you face each other while sleeping. Do yall always sleep facing away from each other or some other way? These are good indicators of what might be going on with the connection in your marriage.
No Kissing
No kissing? Your relationship has dried up and you are neck-deep in roommate syndrome. There is a lack of passion in the relationship.
No Arguing
This messes with the nice guy because he doesn’t want fights. Yet to have a disagreement is a sign that you and your spouse have your own ways of thinking and individual thoughts. With you both having your own thoughts then you will not always match up. You can hive heated disagreements on this that or the other.
Now fights that start to get physical are also a sign that there are problems in the marriage. Yet having discussions and even a bit loud discussions are signs that you are healthy in the relationship. Yet so many people don’t want to face the emotional weight and internal drama of a fight so nothing is said and nobody grows.
lack of sex
This is the huge red flag that the relationship is planted squarely in the middle of roommate syndrome. There is no intimacy at all. Much like no kissing.
Lack of quality time
This will be a reoccurring theme. Yall just live your life in the same house. There is no deep conversations going on you just do what is needed and then go your separate ways. Marriage is tough to keep together if there isn’t some time spent together.
No deep conversation
If you are not spending quality time together then how are you going to have deep discussions on what you want to do?
Lack of interest in each other’s hobbies
She does her thing and he does his thing. Again there is no interest in each other’s lives and the marriage is drying up while the roommate syndrome is getting stronger
Always Apart
This happens when you are in separate beds and doing your own thing. She stays in the bedroom and you are hanging out in the living room and you just say a few words as your paths cross. There is a problem with the marriage.
