When we have topics of discussion with other people there are times that we may mess up and we start to say words that we don’t mean and try to intentionally inflict pain upon the other person. We just are caught up in our emotions and trying to inflict pain on each other. When we are actively trying to destroy the trust and connection we have, the hope of having a better connection is gone. We fall into victim mindsets and fight because we see the conflict at hand being a matter of life or death. How do you stop the emotional destruction that is being inflicted on both parties? One way to do that is to have a do-over.
When is it good to have a do-over?
When you see that you are going into panic mode.
You see that you have made a huge misstep and said something you instantly regret (ie 97% rule)
When the participants are moving to their perspective corners for battle.
When you see that the conflict of ramping up.
Something was misunderstood and you have a better way to say it.
What is a do-over?
It is when you stop a discussion and ask to try again
When you are having an argument or a normal discussion that is wearing into territory that is going to be a fight or you realize that you said something that isn’t helping the situation at all. You stop the discussion and politely as if YOU can have a do-over.
Why is a do-over good for a relationship?
Shows you are trying to do better.
You are attempting to better how you communicate. YOu are wanting to take responsibility for what you say
How do you implement a do-over?
The moment you realize that your discussion isn’t going in the direction of having a better connection you have misstepped and want to try again you can stop the discussion and try once more.
Take The Next Step
You can by taking the next step. You can have a relationship that is fun, loving, and fulfilling. You can have late nights of curiosity-fueled talks. All this is possible when you get coached.
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