The Question of The Week By The Brotherhood of Men
Help me. How do I stop feeling hurt when people say mean things about me?
Is what they are saying true? If not then why are you giving these people all your power? You are volunteering your piece of mind and happiness to people who obviously don’t have your happiness in mind.
Stop with the victim mindset. You have the power to let some bozo hurt your feelings or not. When you can look at your thoughts and decide how that affects you. You will gain the power back from people who don’t even know how to control their own emotions. They need pain from others to beef up their own selves. How sad is that?
Now if what they are saying is true you still have all your power. You can take responsibility for what you did and make the needed changes. People only say things about you when they think they can take power away from you and you can choose to react or respond. Big difference in the two.
There is an old saying that seems to have been forgotten in the last 20 years or so. That saying is Sticks and stones may break my bones but word will never hurt me. Start applying it. Stop handing your power and agency over to other people. You have the power over what you think and how you think. Your emotions come from those thoughts not from some jerk offs actions.
Remember that words don’t have power till you decide they have power. If it affects you and it is a lie, then I would ask why are believing the lies others are saying?
Main Topic
Aren’t we always present when talking to others?
No often we are sitting around waiting for our opportunity to voice our thoughts. Doing so
What does it mean to be present?
Being present means not trying to wait for a response. Not forming a thought and just being there with the person you are talking to. There can be a lot of details that are missed and even ignored when we are waiting for our time to talk.
This often means that we are not fully understanding what the other person is saying. We are not hearing them we are listening but we are missing a lot that is being conveyed.
How does being present help?
Some people point out that you will have better concentration and more attention to details. And though they are right that is more because being present can be tied to mindfulness.
Mindfulness is essentially paying attention to your thoughts which is of immense benefit when you are doing thought work.
- Better communication skills
- Better social skills
- Less worrying about wrong implications
How do you become present?
Being present can be difficult
