Nice guys think they are being nice. They are just trying to help. The nice guy is someone who without understanding his actions causes his own misery. They often will sacrifice themselves for their own view of martyrdom, simply for the opportunity to be able to proclaim exactly how nice they are.
This self-sacrifice isn’t the noble act the nice guy wants us to think it is. In fact, it opens the nice guy up to be taken advantage of, they become a doormat. This is where nice guys often try harder in vain and start to become resentful. This is where the nice guy’s relationship often falls apart. They start to fall into the victim mindset and wonder why nobody is nice to them.
The nice guy is the persona that Jordan Peterson talks about in the video. How nice guys act nice because they are afraid of the better place to be which is being a dangerous man. To be able to have sharp teeth and to stand up for yourself. The emotions that are needed to be a dangerous man are scary to nice guys. They view themselves as not being nice when it is actually being noble for standing up for their beliefs.
This means that nice guys have to do the hard work of looking into themselves and understanding why they are letting themselves be taken advantage of. Why do they want sex but are so afraid to ask? Many times it is because of what they will view that rejection to mean. They will think that their wife doesn’t like them physically so they will try extended and other over-the-counter convenience store remedies. When in reality that may just mean that their wife has a yeast infection or even hard to take that they just aren’t being the man that turns her on. To be that man they will have to actually change and become that dangerous man they fear. That’s a man with emotions.
