We are talking about the Lonely man this week. We look at, why are there so many lonely men in society.
Boosts!
Main topic
Today I wanted to talk about a post that has been making its rounds on social media and other sites. This is why there are so many lonely men in society today. Is the lonely guy lonely because he is toxic, or is it be of other factors?
It is from Psychology Today and it came out back in August. This article is called The Rise of the Lonely Single Man: Men need to address their deficits to meet healthier relationship expectations. The total of this article has a definite swing of what I would call toxic masculinity.
Yet they do pose the question as to why are there so many lonely men in today’s society. Why are men not marrying? These are important questions for men to look at. Men live longer and actually happier when they’re married to one woman.
Main Points about Lonely Men
Now there are several major points with this article that I bristle over and show why some of today’s society is overcomplicating things. Yet the key point is that neither side is willing to bend.
Online dating creates Lonely Men
Yeah, a lot of people turn to this form of dating because it is easier and safer because you don’t have to meet a person eye to eye.
Women are making unrealistic demands of men. They are becoming much like the types of men that they hate. I hear women say they want men who are open about their feelings and want a man who makes more than them. They want a man to help with the house and the kids. Yet they never really state what they are going to bring to the party.
Men are easy Show us boobs and give us food and we will walk across a field of broken glass on our knees to in the desert to bring you a cold glass of sweet tea.
The other problem that I see is that women actually make it too easy for men. They don’t make them work to get to the Homebase. They in fact often are the ones who initiate sex. Now, this isn’t bad if you are married. Yet when you are just dating try waiting to get to know the other person.
You see both sides are so desperate for the quick release of satisfaction when it comes to sex that they aren’t willing to hold off for a while and find out what type of connection you are going to build.
Modern Relationship Standards and Lonely Men
Then there are the cultural problems that cause women to not be happy about the quality of men. Then the men don’t have a reason to raise to the occasion and raise their standards.
Men see that they are able to have it easy so they are busy sending dick pics instead of being a gentleman. Why should men be patient? They know that if they don’t get the reaction they want from a woman on a dating site, they can just go to the next person.
Society has turned men into a bunch of bonobo monkeys. They know all they have to do is sit around and with eventually a girl will come by and sleep with them.
What about the INCELs? These are a special group. Many of them are somewhere on the Asperger’s syndrome spectrum and so they miss the social cues. Then they also have their minds made up on certain girls and many of those girls are hard to find or they are so far out of their league that they don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell.
Skills Deficits
The good doc claims that men have several skills deficiencies and I would agree with him there. But what those skills are is where we differ.
The Author says women want men with better communication skills and to be more emotionally open. Yet all you have to do is look at how society actually operates and see that isn’t the truth. Yes, many women want their men to be their girlfriends and that is not possible.
Get therapy
This is also a means of getting men to be more feminine. Does therapy work? Yes, but it isn’t for the man to get in touch with his touchy-feely side. It is so that he can get a handle on the way he copes with different stresses in his life. So he can change those coping mechanisms to a different style that actually serves him.
It isn’t for him to know how to cry in front of his girlfriend or wife. He does this when he is around his band of brothers. This is why men need a group of masculine men to turn to
Become emotionally available
This is a huge bag of hooey. Women don’t like men who are crying on their shoulders because Bob in accounting was being mean to him. Women want men who are able to lift them up. Do women want to be supported? Yes. The same as men wanting support. Do women want to feel validated? Of course, they do, Everybody wants to feel as if they are validated but, that feeling doesn’t come from the outside. It comes from your own thoughts. Everybody likes to be told they are doing good and to feel as if they are in the right. However, both sides are operating from emotional childhood.
The Problem
The problem with all of this is that both sides are operating from the line of thinking that the other side has to make them feel a particular way. Life doesn’t happen that way.
Is there a problem with masculinity today? Heck yeah, there is. The problem that people are facing is that there is not enough masculinity in society today we have been faced with men being pushed aside back when they are boys and competing with girls instead of competing against boys.
This competition is expanding into the dating realm. Women are facing many of the same stresses that men faced as they take on the helm of financial responsibility. This is the same that men in the 50s 60s and 70s faced. The stresses are gonna get piled on and the men aren’t going to be there to support the women.
Men have been left behind in many aspects and this is actually a good thing as w whole. Because as women run further out into the lead they will realize that they need the men. They will struggle with this and so the need for women to understand how they are actually different and how men’s difference is actually complementary to women will help them reach the levels they aspire to.
So are men lonely? Yeah, they are and this article completely misses why there are lonely men out in society. This article dances all around but never really touches on why there are so many lonely men. That is because of the lack of masculinity. The author states that men not wanting to step up to their mental health and that they are in touch with their emotions and that is the farthest from the truth. I see men express their emotions on a daily basis. Men are laughing. Men are depressed or frustrated. You see all the emotions a human has. Now, are they going off and voicing what they are feeling? No, but women and society don’t want a man expressing his emotions publicly like that. When you see a man crying, society ridicules them.
Men and the rest of today’s society is busy looking for a quick hit of dopamine from the algorithm. Instead of doing the delayed gratification of finding a good strong competent woman out in the wild. It is easier to flog the dolphin while watching a porno video that to talk to a woman and get to know her. It is easier to not ask than to ask and risk rejection.
Yeah, the Nice guys are being ratted out of the bushes because women are now familiar with what the nice guy is. So many of these lonely men are nice guys who are caught with their covert contracts in hand and being denied what they want creating a wave of men who can’t find a woman. These lonely men are the nice guys being weeded out.
