I’m currently a recovering addict and I live with a wife that NEVER lets me forget all the things I did wrong while I was actively using. I’ve been clean for 1 year and 8 months. I have no privacy and get no respect from anyone in my home. I have no friends because they have all betrayed me in some way or they showed me no respect.
So what does a guy do to better himself and the circumstances? How do you prove to your wife that you are working at changing? The answer isn’t something that is not easy but will be worth the effort.
You take full responsibility for what you did. All the violations of the trust she had in you, own your dirt. Except for the fact that you’re going to have to prove to her time and time again that you are being honest and open. It will always be on your head to show her that she does not have to worry. She is going to worry and you have to show her again that you are a different person now.
The problem a lot of people have been doing this is they think six months or a year down the road the wife should be OK with everything now. She should have forgiven, and forgotten, and all of the incidents are now water under the bridge. Yes, that would be nice if that was the case but sadly no. We are dealing with people’s thoughts and their emotions that come with those thoughts. So she gets to decide. And when you are constantly working to show her that you are a changed man before you know it, she will accept that you have changed. Will it take one year five years 10 years? I don’t know, nor do you.
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