We, men, are beacons of positive energy to our families. I have said a few times that we men are beacons of positive energy. Yet men are falling into despair. Now yeah a lot of that problem is the thoughts that you are having. However, to grow healthy positive thoughts you need the right fertilizer. That fertilizer you need for positive thoughts and energy is the right attitude. Yet like other fertilizers need the right ratio of ingredients. Gardening fertilizer needs phosphorus, potassium, and Nitrogen.
Men need the right ratio of three elements for happiness and fulfillment. Those elements are Discipline, purpose, and gratitude. Many men do have the first element of discipline. While many struggle with the second element of purpose. The element that all men who are struggling to find their fulfillment are the nitrogen to their mental health. That element is Gratitude.
Many men have way too little gratitude in their thinking and it is easier to create than any other of the ingredients. So why do so many men struggle to create the right ground for their fulfillment? Let’s look at this.
Can you be more positive?
If you are having to ask this then yeah this article is for you. That is because you have lost so much fulfillment in your life that being positive is almost out of the question. In fact, you could see positivity as being toxic to your world. That’s when you know you are hurting. You have allowed this world to beat you down to the point that you actually are rejecting the positive light of those men you need around you.
So can you be more positive? Bet your sweet tail you can and you will be better off because of it. Now before we jump into how you can be more positive. How you can create more gratitude in your life. I want to address two big excuses men tell themselves so they don’t have to work on changing who they are.
This is just how I am
I can’t help it. I’m just a pessimist, or I am a realist. Well, I am a realist too so how come I am more positive than you? I can see the world for what it really is. Yet I still see so much in the realm of possibility than any pessimistic realist could ever see. Why? That is because when you are a pessimist you don’t want to have to try.
Why try? it’s going to fail anyhow. Why even go through the motions it’s going to fail. My response why live? How do you know have you tried it already? How come <insert successful person> was able to do it? It isn’t because they got lucky. Don’t believe me you can ask any of them they will talk about how much work they put into their dream. It was a hell of a lot of work. So much so that I am sure the pessimist is actually scared of the amount of work that they will have to do and that is why they have to have an excuse. They are afraid.
So if they have just been that way their whole life then hey! I can’t change it. A tiger can’t change their stripes, right? So I can’t change. That is just who I am. That is a dude who just doesn’t want to try.
So ignore the dangers?
What dangers? When has trying something new be dangerous? Now I am not talking about trying out skydiving. Something that is inherently dangerous, I understand the fear. I am talking about you trying something new like that business opportunity, or you building up your friends. They seem scary to you but you will not die from it.
So again what dangers are there? I can guarantee that the dangers you are afraid of aren’t actually there. If you find real dangers that’s not a matter of optimism and pessimism.
Steps to be more positive
So how do you become more positive in your thoughts and actions? The means of generating more positivity and gratitude isn’t as challenging as you would think. Now it may feel weird or even fake. Those are just thoughts your mind is creating to keep you in your safe little cocoon. This is so you won’t get out of your comfort zone. So there is going to be some thought work you are going to want to do and having a coach can help you in that.
Gratitude
Now the main ingredient you will need to have a more positive mind is the attitude of gratitude. That is the act of being thankful. Where can you have more gratitude in your life? This can be a challenge yet it is a challenge I insist you work on every day multiple times each of those days.
Having gratitude is like a muscle. you have to work it or it will atrophy and fade away and you will find yourself in the pit that you are in now. It is cold dark and lonely. This is where you feel the pinches of depression form. The sadness of not reaching the peaks you desire. When you lose gratitude for life and for those who you live life with it is easy to slide into that pit.
Gratitude Journal
One of the most efficient ways to build up the habit of gratitude in your life is to have a gratitude journal. To go and find ways you are grateful for all that is around you starts with just one thing. Can you come up with just one item you are grateful for? How about 2 items? Can you come up with 3 things you are grateful for that are a repeat from last week? You can make your gratitude journal as easy or as difficult as possible. The choice is all yours
Be around the right people.
You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most intentional time with. So If you are around a bunch of who think the world sucks and that they are nothing but victims then you are going to end up buying into the same line of beliefs. Yet you can also change who you hang out with and that will also alter your beliefs. So if you want to change your attitude faster then find a bunch of positive men who are set to doing good in the world. Make sure they are of the values you want and see how brighter life becomes.
Pay attention to what you are thinking
Thoughts are at the root of the problem we are facing when it comes to trying to have more positive thoughts. I wasn’t always the most positive upbeat guy on the block. When I was in the thick of my life about 1o years ago I was deep in life. I was frustrated that my life was going nowhere. My marriage wasn’t the best. My kids were struggling because their dad wasn’t there for them. I wanted a change and was not finding any clue as to how. My thoughts were in the dumps. I battled with a bit of the thought that would lead to depression.
Then I found out then about 2015 I found someone who blew my hair back. They mentioned that those thoughts I had created my emotions. Those emotions created the actions that created my results and I didn’t like my results. So that started the shift of my thinking from a few different people. From Brooke Castillo to even Cliff Ravenscraft I was able to start making changes to how I viewed myself. Those changes all started with finding some sort of gratitude and building from there.
So start with one and go from there the world is a lot better and a lot brighter if you do it.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/positive-thinking/art-20043950
