How to Silence Your Inner Critic and Practice Self-Grace. – EP 196

This week we will be diving into the topic of forgiveness. We all have those moments in life where we make terrible mistakes and feel a deep sense of regret. Today, I want to emphasize the importance of forgiving oneself for these screw-ups. As the host of The Relaxed Male, my mission is to help men remove the “nice guy” persona from their lives and live life on their own terms. As a certified men’s coach, I work closely with men who are going through challenging times such as divorces or job losses. My goal is to assist them in finding clarity and relaxation amidst their suffering.

Each episode of the show focuses on changing one’s perspective on life, identity, and thoughts to overcome pain and become victors instead of victims. In fact, I have some exciting plans coming up, including going live on YouTube and participating in a podcast posting challenge in November. But that’s not all! I want to invite you, my listeners, to a try coaching event that I’ll be hosting via Zoom. This is an opportunity for you to experience the power of coaching firsthand and learn how it can help you achieve your goals. You can sign up for the event and find all the details on the website.

I want to thank each and every one of you for your continued support. The show is experiencing steady growth, and it wouldn’t be possible without your listenership. If this is your first time tuning in, welcome!

We have a lot to talk about, so let’s dive into today’s episode on how to forgive yourself. It’s common to reflect on our past actions and realize that some choices were not the best. We may feel regret, and self-shame, and start self-hating. But it’s crucial to move past these feelings and give ourselves grace. We are human, and humans make mistakes.

Constantly beating ourselves up and dwelling on past mistakes is not productive. It’s important to pay attention to our thoughts because our mind has a tendency to ruminate and go over the same scenario repeatedly without finding any solutions. We need to stop criticizing ourselves and others. The shoulda, woulda, coulda mentality is not helpful. Instead, let’s be aware of our thoughts and where they track. 

Our mind tries to muddy the water by offering alternative scenarios, making it difficult to see the actual circumstance. Taking responsibility for our actions and not making excuses is crucial. Forgiveness starts with accepting that we made a mistake and taking responsibility for it. It’s about recognizing that it was the wrong thought and replacing it with a better thought. We must voice our mistakes out loud, removing the shame and guilt associated with them. It’s important to acknowledge and address whatever is eating away at us.

Granting ourselves grace and forgiveness is essential, especially when we find ourselves dwelling on past wrongdoings. While some crimes may have legal consequences, forgiving ourselves is essential for our mental well-being. Shame, often influenced by religion or societal norms, can cause severe harm if we don’t forgive ourselves.

Misusing the power of our minds can be damaging, just like misapplying nutrition. Let’s strive for moderation in all aspects of our lives and let go of past mistakes to maintain a healthy state of mind. 

Bottling up secrets and not forgiving ourselves can lead to long-term adverse effects. I recently came across a book called “The Body Keeps the Score” and I’m curious to explore its content and see if it lives up to its praise. Being intentional with our thoughts and redirecting them away from self-criticism and shame is crucial. Granting ourselves grace and forgiveness is essential for personal growth and the ability to extend grace to others. If you’re interested in taking your personal growth to the next level, I offer coaching services. Y

ou can find more information on my website and check out the upcoming “try coaching” event on October 14th. I encourage you to share this message with others if you find it helpful or insightful. The Relaxed Male community is focused on helping men improve themselves in all aspects, including their mind, body, soul, and community. By working on these pillars, men can become more balanced and masculine, which is crucial in today’s society. Once again, thank you all for your support and for tuning in. I wish you well until the next episode. 

https://www.relaxedmale.com/trycoaching

00:00:00 The Struggle of Forgiving Yourself for Mistakes

00:03:09 Announcement: Try Coaching Event on October 14th

00:06:17 Growing the podcast and encouraging listeners to subscribe

00:10:04 Overcoming self-doubt and shame

00:12:58 Breaking free from rumination and finding solutions

00:13:46 Building a Bridge to Forgiving Yourself

00:15:12 Muddying the Water and Breaking Free from Guilt

00:23:53 The power of our mind and religion

00:25:20 The impact of secrets and fibromyalgia

00:32:50 Introduction to Coaching and Try Coaching Event

Many times we find ourselves doing things that we are not proud of. These not-so-wonderful times can create a lot of trouble when not addressed. Maybe you broke a promise to your best friend. Maybe you took your whole set of core values and in a night of drunken debauchery threw them all out stomped on them, and had a steam roller run over them. Then you went out and lived like a hedonistic heathen for a week.

It doesn’t matter we have all done things in our past that we are not proud to talk about. So how do you forgive yourself of all the damage you have done to others?

Why is Self Forgiveness so darn Difficult

• Good Therapy

Getting Past it

• Your thoughts
  • Pay attention to those thoughts because your mind will want to beat you down.
  • Your thoughts will want to return to the scene of the crime like any good criminal
  • We enjoy shoulding all over ourselves
  • you try to muddy the waters
• Take Responsibility
  • Voice the mistake out loud
• Grant yourself some grace
• Keep forgiving yourself

Points of Interest

Try Coaching Is Oct 14 at 10am – https://www.relaxedmale.com/trycoaching