That is a bit of a trick question
We need each form of intimacy to build on the other intimacies. Yet it varies for the different sexes.
Women need more emotional and intellectual intimacy to be ok with opening up and displaying physical intimacy. The more trust and safety they feel, the more willing they are to accept sex.
Men need more physical intimacy to open up and display Emotional intimacy and intellectual intimacy. So we as a couple have to work on all of the intimacies
Yet the whole problem with all of our thoughts about intimacy is that they are just thoughts. Look at the eternal question of men wanting more sex. I have heard men say this, even I have said this. That thought is, if our wife just put out a bit more, we would be more engaged. We would be more receptive. Yet in reality that often doesn’t happen. If she wants to talk after sex, she is going to be very disappointed because we have rolled over and fallen asleep. It isn’t a dig against our wife, but we are just very sleepy after we get our rocks off. So do you sit and listen to your wife talk about her day first? You could, but then she is often mentally exhausted and doesn’t want to be physically intimate with us. It is a case of the Chicken or the egg.
The key is intention.
We have to start being more intentional. We have to apply more thought into our actions and express any expectations we have. If I wash the dishes, will you lose your clothes? If no, then that is OK, but you never know until you ask.
To have the intimacy you want, you do have to give the intimacy your wife wants. May not seem fair, but life isn’t fair, but you are able to get what you want, you just have to apply some intentionality.
The Next Step
You can by taking the next step. You can have a relationship that is fun, loving, and fulfilling. You can have late nights of curiosity-fueled talks. All this is possible when you get coached.
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