How do you handle your wife being mad at you.

There are times that we are going to violate the 97% rule. We’re going to forget to take out the trash. Do something don’t know what, but it will be something that will make our wife mad.. It’s not unheard of. I mean wives make husbands mad also. But us guys don’t worry about how to handle ourselves when we’re mad, but that is a good topic to cover also. Maybe that’ll be next weeks post. 😉

Times when we find out that our wife is mad, especially at us we start trying to find ways to alleviate that problem. We learned from our moms that if we clean up our room if we made her mad, that usually helps. If we forgot to start supper, we run in the kitchen and we start cooking. Life with our wife is a different experience altogether.

How do we keep her from getting mad at us? How do we keep her in a good mood? What do we do with all these extra emotions that she has?

These are good questions and not as challenging as you would believe. we often worry and wonder about the mysteries of a woman’s heart however, there are some easy solutions if you can control your thoughts.

Don’t do these

Let’s first start off with the actions that many of us guys do that don’t help at all. For us it helps, but it doesn’t help her. We would like these to be done if we’re in a bad mood, but these don’t help our wife.

So here is a list of things to not do if your wife is angry. 

Manipulate

Trying to tell her that she has nothing to be angry about. Telling your wife that she’s being foolish. that she has no reason to be angry or that her emotions are out of proportion we do nothing more than to make her even angrier

Now, I understand why we do this. That is because of how we feel. We feel uncomfortable when our wife is angry at us. We are upset when our wife is not pleasantly pleased at any time. We have a little bit of anxiety when she is sad. We have a lot of anxiety when she is angry frustrated. There is anxiety when we worry about our wife. Whenever she is not happy with the general condition of things we are often worried, anxious, nervous, stressed, or flummoxed.

All these are thanks to the fact that our wife is not in the emotional state we would like for her to be in. And trying to control the matter makes everything worse. Manipulating our wife to get her to be in any mood other than what she is inwill just send her in to angry fits of yelling.

Gaslighting

This fits in with manipulation, but anytime you don’t believe what she is saying. She’s gonna view it as you are gaslighting her.

The results are going to be the same. You’re going to do nothing more than make her even more mad at you that she was before. 

Try to fix the problem

Now this is problem a lot of nice guys have and that is instantly running in to be the rescuer. The problem is that doesn’t work. You see fixing the problem is a form of manipulation. So everything about manipulating and why it’s bad is the same reason why going in just fixing the problem Not work. She doesn’t want the problem fixed. She wants you to listen to what the problem is. And wants you to sit there and be OK with the emotions that you feel. And the emotions that she is expressing.

What you want to do

Now we have expressed what is not good and what not to do when your wife is angry. Whether that anger is directed at you or somebody else in particular or she’s just in a all-around grumpy mood. So what do you do instead of manipulating gaslighting or fixing the problem? 

First accepting that she is mad and you can’t change it

The hardest thing will be just the except the fact that she’s mad and that it is OK that she is mad. Her being angry, doesn’t mean you’re a terrible person. Her being angry doesn’t mean that you have failed as a husband. It’s not your responsibility to be managing her emotions in the first place.

To understand that she’s mad and that you can let her be in that space of anger is a huge step for you. When you can let her be mad and you be OK with the fact that she’s mad and you just let her sit in her anger and work out herself is a huge step.

I’m not saying you just completely blow her off. If she is talking about what the problem is you listen to what she saying you don’t try to her from her thoughts. You just let her talk, and you ask questions when appropriate.

let her be mad

This goes with the first one you don’t fix the problem. You just let the anger live its lifespan. Let her be mad. No, she will not be holding a grudge against you for the rest of her life. If you were the one who created the anger and frustration eventually she will let you know what it is. You’ve done. From there you can appropriately apologize. Then work to not do that again.

However, we do know that we will end up doing it again because well we guys we just do stuff like that.

Our wife being in any type of emotional situation that is not one that we find comfort in could be very tough for us to handle. If she is mad, we want to make it mean something personally to us. If she is frustrated again, we mean, make it mean something to us.if she is sad again for whatever reason, we love to take her emotions and make them mean something about us. We failed as a husband. We keep our wife happy. Neither one of these thoughts are true. They are just thoughts. We aren’t terrible husbands. We can help her by just being there by her side.

If you struggle with this, if you would like some help best thing to do is to take the next step hit the button below and let’s talk.