Develop Better Self-Confidence

What’s so important about Self Confidence? Many people wonder why self-confidence is important. We live in our homes they are safe and all that. Yet You can instantly tell those who don’t believe in themselves all that much when they walk outside. All of a sudden the king of the domain started to shrink and that king stops acting like a king.

We are born having self-confidence. We don’t questions whether we can get up off our backs we just keep at it till we do it. We don’t struggle with our confidence when it comes to walking. We just do it. Yet somewhere we start to question our confidence and our abilities till one day some of us have very little.

How do you lose your self-confidence?

Most of it appears to be from life, friends, and family. We often have life beat us up pretty well and then we wonder why we don’t have the confidence to get anywhere. You lose your confidence after you have been told by your parents that you can’t do something. Then again it may be a close uncle who says that something just isn’t you, or they give some reason why that would not work. Your friends see you trying something new and their thoughts are to discourage you from doing something great.

All of these and more can be blows to what you are seeing as your self-confidence. How do some people have so much self-confidence? That answer will come closer to the end of this post. Yet you see when you are beaten time and time again. Your brain will try to protect you by having you not do whatever. To get you to not do those activities again your mind will tell you that you are not good at that activity. If you are not good at it then why try?

Much like the lobsters from Jordan Peterson’s book 12 Rules For Life When you lose your brain will change. It will shift to a brain that won’t try. It has convinced itself that it’s not worth the effort. Remember our minds are motivated by the motivational Triad. So We seek pleasure and losing isn’t very pleasurable. Avoid pain, again losing is not pleasure so that means it is pain, our minds are very simple in the logic department. We also want to be as efficient as possible. Change isn’t easy nor is it efficient. So don’t even try to change.

So when we have low self-confidence that is when we struggle the most to change our ways. That change is hard because it goes against everything about the motivational triad. So your mind has come up with a way to protect itself against you and you’re wanting to change. You have self-confidence and a level that is too low for a change! Ha! Checkmate MInd wins so go sit down on the couch and play some video games.

You see having confidence in yourself is important for everything you want to do or attempt. If you don’t believe you can do it then you will struggle with just showing up.

You can’t change your Self Confidence?

Oh yeah, you can! Anything is actually possible you just have to know and want that change bad enough that you are willing to go through some discomfort and override your motivational triad. That is a lot of thought work but it is possible.

How do you improve your Self Confidence?

Reach Out actually talks about this very thing and they are great ways to start showing your mind that it is wrong and that you are a lot more capable in what you do than what it is telling you.

Reach out suggests that you do the following

• Make lists of your achievements, and things in your life that you are proud of.
• Acknowledge your personal strengths and talents, and remind yourself of them often.
• Set realistic goals for yourself.
• Practice positive self-talk.
• Make time for your hobbies, and try out some new things to find out what you are passionate about.

The last thing they mention is to talk to a counselor or mental Health professional about how you can increase your confidence. While they aren’t wrong Reach out did forget to mention someone else you can talk to that can help you change your mindset and show you a new way of looking at the world. That other person is a Coach. Now it doesn’t honestly matter what life coach you talk to as long as they are willing to help you. Yet if you are looking for a coach then set up a Consult call with me and we can see if we are a match.

Important to know about self Confidence.

There is something I do want you to understand about self-confidence and it is not really addressed by hardly anyone around.

Self-confidence is a thought. Yeah, what you believe you can or can’t do is just a thought about yourself. You may have all the proof in the world but that belief is just a thought you perceive to be true. Those beliefs are what’s holding you back. You struggle with finding fulfillment or success in life because of nothing more than a thought you tell yourself over and over again.

We all suffer from this as a human. We tell ourselves crap and then believe it. The poor are poor because they have poor people’s thoughts, and rich people have rich people’s thoughts. It has nothing to do with your level of education, Your status in society. None of that. You are where you are because of your thoughts.

The cool thing is that you can actually change those thoughts. It’s not easy because you have trained yourself to think that way for a good chunk of your life but you can change. If you want more confidence in yourself then it is just one thought away. think about that tonight.

---