This is a continuing series of our examinations of the different types of intimacies that are described in the Choose Therapy post, 10 Types of Intimacy. We have looked at a couple of other types of intimacy because I understand that we men want intimacy. Yet, did you realize that there was more than just physical intimacy? I get a couple but there are a few that are just a little out there. Therefore, it was a good thing to sit down and examine the examples of intimacy in a relationship. It would help you better understand a portion of your wife’s needs so you both can have a better understanding of each other.
- Physical
- Emotional
- Intellectual
- Spiritual
- Experiential
- Social
- Creative
- Conflict
- Aesthetic
- Work
How creative are you and your wife? This intimacy is one where you both create something together. Whether you are doing painting or woodwork. Maybe you are creating a book together or painting a mural.
What does this intimacy do?
It allows for closeness to happen because you and your wife are working together. You both have the same vision of an outcome and so you can bond over that experience. It requires both of you to tap into your imagination and create something together
Show the mess
You and your wife have to get messy as you start out on the project. You both have to step fully into your respective discomfort and manage your thoughts and emotions. This is because you will mess up many times in the creation process.
Being OK with The Process
So you have to be ok with not being sure. Accept that the project will turn out just fine.
You will also have to compromise as each of y’all’s visions of the project morph into a conglomeration of both visions.
Feeling The Feels
There will be many moments of challenge even frustration and can you address the problem resolve it and then reconnect? Many people struggle with this. They will let their unmanaged thought and random interpretations influence the activity.
My wife and I struggle with this very portion all the time. I let myself get frustrated with how a project is going and my wife will see that and think that it is her fault. Then there are times when it is the opposite. There is a time that we wind up with someone having thoughts that hurt their feelings.
A Little Help From Your Spouse
You also learn to be open and allow your significant other to assist you in a perceived limitation. Many times we will lie to ourselves and say we can’t do something when in fact we can we just don’t know how to get to the results. You can help each other. This does require you to have respect for your wife and you have to swallow your pride or you may end up eating a lot of crow at the end of the day.
Is This a Form of Intimacy?
This could be placed in the same category as the experiential intimacy. Instead of trying to shoehorn it into its own bracket of intimacy. I actually don’t see this as anything other than an example of experiencing intimacy. You grow closer because of the experience of creating something together.
Now why do some people make this an intimacy category? I would have to guess they are smarter than me and see some nuance that I fail to notice.
So from my view, this isn’t so much a form of intimacy as it is a means to expand and grow your experiential intimacy. You have a great understanding of your spouse and how they operate. You also allow your spouse the opportunity to see your thought process and working method which they may take and use themselves or you just may find a new way to do something. Then at the end of the exercise, you will have some results that you can turn to and see that yes you are a team.
Boosts!
Huge shout out to Podhome with a boost of 5,940 and a message of
This hits home Bryan, thanks for the insights!
Links
Podhome – https://www.podhome.fm
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This was a very good read. I believe some of the points covered could help in other areas of life as well.