Men struggle with strong meaningful connections. Many even struggle with just having a relationship. So many men today don’t have close relationships or their relationships are just surface-level connections that don’t fulfill the purpose of a relationship.
We men need relationships and yet we forsake our own needs for a plethora of reasons. So why do we need to have good strong relationships? Why can’t we just hermitize ourselves and just be done with it?
Benefits of a good relationship
Why are relationships needed? What makes the messy emotional events of having relationships with both men and women good for us?
Live longer
This is mainly for married men but when a man has friends who force him to get out of the house and go do things. These men live longer and more fulfilled because they have a relationship with both men and women.
Men who are isolated have stronger suicide tendencies
Sadly many men do end their lives because they have isolated themselves. In fact a guy who starts to isolate needs strong relationships more than ever.
Happier
Why do men actually long for relationships.
Relationships with women
It helps them see life as an adventure
Three desires of a man
- He wants a battle to fight.
- He dreams of adventure.
- He longs for a beauty to rescue
We love to care
We Love to be cared for
We do like the input from women
Men seek specifics in their relationships and often don’t find them
- Praise and approval
- Respect
- Connection
- Space
- Security
- Physical Touch
Relationships with other men
A means to be pushed to be better
others to learn from
A refill of their masculine energy
Men need to have a connection with those around them
Why do men not have as many friends as they could have?
Many men don’t have close friends at all
Sadly many men have stopped trying or using the internet as a cheap knockoff connection
They lost their girl’s challenge.
The Next Step
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Summary
Introduction
Brian Goodwin hosts The Relaxed Male podcast, aimed at helping men remove the “nice guy” mindset and live life on their own terms.
This episode (#221) focuses on the importance of relationships for men.
Why Relationships are Important for Men
Men struggle with relationships – romantic partners, family, friends, coworkers etc. Some men avoid relationships altogether through movements like “men going their own way.”
However, strong relationships provide several key benefits for men:
Longevity
Married men tend to live longer than single men, especially if the marriage is a strong, connected one.
When a wife passes away, the widowed husband often dies soon after of “a broken heart.”
Lower Suicide Risk
Men with solid relationships have lower tendencies towards suicide compared to isolated men.
Friends will notice if a man starts withdrawing and pull him back out.
Happiness
Overall, married men report being happier than single men.
Having masculine friendships pushes men to get out, try new activities and adventures they wouldn’t alone.
Benefits Men Seek in Relationships
Words of affirmation/praise
Respect
Connection/security
Physical touch (both platonic and romantic)
Men are often the “romantics” craving spice from their wives
Importance of Male Friendships
Allow men to be their full, uninhibited selves
Provide positive masculine energy that balances feminine energy from romantic partners
Men learn from each other and push each other to grow
Having a tight community of male friends is crucial
Challenges to Building/Maintaining Friendships
Many men lack close friendships – estimates of 15% having no close friends
Online friendships are not a full substitute for in-person connection
Romantic partners sometimes pressure men to drop male friends
Men must be willing to stand up to this “test” from partners to keep respected friendships
Brian’s Plug for Coaching Services
For men wanting to improve their relationships (romantic or platonic)
3 month coaching package to change perspectives on relationships
Connect with Brian through website to take advantage of discounted offer
Overall, the episode argues that all kinds of relationships – romantic, family, friendships – are vital for men’s mental health, life satisfaction, personal growth and even longevity. Building a strong community of male friends is particularly emphasized.
