There is a myriad of emotions that we men go through. in fact, we have all the same emotions that women have. Whaaaaa?
Yeah, Men have the same emotional depth as women, Now we express those emotions differently and we may not use the same language for what we feel as our feminine counterparts but they are there. Many times we use emotions for the very same reason. This includes our avoidance of emotions through buffering.
What is Buffering?
Buffering is the act of doing other activities in order to not do the work at hand. This could be actual work like what we use to procrastinate but also can be avoiding emotional/thought work that needs to be handled so you can reach the next level.
Buffering often shows up as playing video games, eating, drinking, spending overtime at work, having sex, and idle dilly-dallying when you want to get something else done, or a particular event happens.
We often buffer in the means of consuming without applying thought to why. That is actually where we get ourselves into trouble. We aren’t applying any thought. We just are doing something while in idle mode. It’s just a numbing habit that we have in our arsenal.
Why do men Buffer
Often men buffer because they don’t want to face the thoughts and emotional weight that comes with particular thoughts. Be it the effect of a job that isn’t a good fit for us or a situation we have with our spouse. When we feel pain or are anxious about something often we turn to a buffer to avoid the pain.
These buffering habits come into play when we are facing something painful. We often kick into our buffer of choice without even knowing that we are doing it. Our mind believes that it is saving us from a problem because it is faced with something that is uncomfortable. When in reality our pain is just sitting off to the side of our minds waiting to be processed.
You see life is 50% pain and 50% pleasure and until you stepping into the pain and fully allow it to be processed. Those painful emotions and thoughts don’t go away.
How do you avoid buffering?
Paying attention to what it is you are doing and why you are doing it. This can be tough and a big challenge. yet when you are able, to be honest with yourself and step into that pain. You will find that your life is so much more productive and brighter.
That can be difficult because you do have to accept that you are avoiding pain. To remove the act of buffering is the act of facing the pain you are avoiding.
Want help to stop buffering so that you can step into that life you want? Set up a coaching consult
