You can often live your life as if you are in the movie Click. Yet your remote doesn’t have the fast forwards or pause feature as Adam Sandler’s character does. So many people love hitting that rewind button only to relive a particulate time over and over again. Sometimes it is for nostalgia and others it is for indulgent reasons. While some do relive instances of their life because they believe they are stuck in that identity.
Some were abused or went through a highly stressful circumstance that they relive over and over a key defining point in their life. It is like they have gone through all the horrors, only to hit the rewind button to live it out again. Now true ruminating over memory is one way the brain processes what happened. Yet when you stay in that instance all the time you do develop mental health problems.
I have talked about navigating your life through a rearview mirror, and how that doesn’t serve you. Yet some go through life not looking in the rearview mirror but they do hit that darn rewind button a lot.
These people are very evident with the questions they ask. Often they ask questions that aren’t useful and keep them in their space of comfort.
Why?
Now this word is one of the most powerful questions you can ask, but it has to be used correctly. As Uncle Ben said, “With great power comes great responsibility.”
Using why can be used to hold you back. It can be used to ask questions that keep you playing small. Why am I so fat? Why am I such a loser? Why can’t I find a woman to live my life with? Why? If you find yourself asking those types of questions you can change them from limiting questions to power questions with one word. Change the WHY to HOW.
How am I so overweight? How can I stop being a loser? How can I find a woman for my life? How is a powerful question to put you in action? While Why is good for troubleshooting and getting clear on those actions.
Yet people who ask why do so as a means of looking in the past. Looking at why did my wife leave me? Asking limiting questions doesn’t serve you. When you’re in scarcity you often ask why? Why did so many bad things happen in my life? Doesn’t help you. In any way, it keeps you in the past and reliving the painful parts. When in reality you want to get past those parts.
If Only…
This is another question that many people use to review their mistakes. If only I had a chance. If only I took that chance. If only I was braver. If only…
This is a huge problem for those who are looking for a reason as to not get out of their comfort zone. It only allows them to pass the buck and look to the past. They are blaming others and misfortune for their own inactions that could have led to their fortunes.
The person who is hitting the rewind button to feel sorry for themselves will use Of only to go back in time over and over again. I am sure you see why this doesn’t help them.
You see If only and Why and many other questions can be used to hold you back. They can be blocks to your dreams. Yes, questions are powerful for helping you get to where you want to go, but they have to be powerful questions. Questions that will propel you in the direction forward not in reverse.
