It is time to review I was thinking of what I could do for a 100 episode. I guess I could have really hyped it up and probably should. Was surprised by how fast it went. It feels as if I should be just now hitting episode 50, yet here we are at one hundred.
I need to put myself out there more.
I don’t step out and talk to people nearly as much as I need to. If I want the business of Relaxed Male to become as successful as I dream it will then I have to start saying more than just, “Hey! How’s the weather”.
Let boys be dangerous
Now I knew that boys like to do some downright dumb stuff. Yet watching boys skateboard down a set of stairs or see who can jump the farthest on the neighborhood sketchiest ramp is actually good for boys as they are developing. The need for danger and excitement actually stays with boys as they progress into manhood. We need to answer that call of the wild and go on adventures. Test our skills against nature.
Audio gets better when you upgrade
When the show started out I just used my phone. It wasn’t the best and I knew it wasn’t going to be the best as long as I used the phone so I had to et an upgrade in equipment soon. So I ended up picking up a Podtrac P4 by Zoom and I haven’t looked back since. I thought of adding some sound effects to the podcast but I really haven’t gotten to that point as of yet.
My son is more popular than me
This is a point of pride for me. One of the most popular episodes I have is the one where my son and I talk. The episode was fun to have and the fact that my son’s friends jumped in a listened is quite awesome. I am not sure how many actually stay and listing to other episodes but heck as long as they heard some.
I have a lot to learn
I know I didn’t know much but the more I learn the more I realize how much ignorance I actually had. I am learning so much about myself and about how humans interact with each other. I get that there is no way to know it all but at the same time, I have to take the time to actually invest in myself and the business. So To help me learn more and to accept the learning in a more efficient manner I am going to be taking a Coaching Certification program. This is to help me learn some new tools that will help my men become the strong noble masculine men the world needs them to be. It will also help me come to understand how to actually start making the ask that I shy away from.
That there really was a Forrest Gump running around
I found this interesting when I came across Timothy Dexter’s life. This guy was under-educated and ignorant as the day was long. He couldn’t spell or write correctly yet because he tried he succeeded in his dream of becoming wealthy.
I am learning more about how men actually talk
NOw I know that men talk very differently than boys but as a recovering Nice Guy I have been busy exposing myself to men and I am seeing and coming to understand the difference between how these two subsets of the males of our species actually talk. The fact that I use to talk in a very hymn-haw style showed me how I really wasn’t talking in a very effective manner. In fact, I still struggle and have to rephrase my words in a more assertive and direct way of talking. Yeah, I feel as if I am going to step on a toe or two when I do talk this way, yet, I haven’t had a complaint one.
That I was more of a nice guy than I believed
Thanks to Robert Glover and his book No More Mr. Nice Guy: A Proven Plan for Getting What You Want in Love, Sex and Life I saw myself in way too many instances of the book. especially in the resentment from the lack of sex with my wife. For many years I was thinking it was her fault and come to find out it’s because I wasn’t being a man. I wasn’t being the man who made her feel hot and bothered when she saw me. She saw a guy who was just wanting to sleep with her. That isn’t being sexy to my wife that was being a sad creature.
So I have really stepped up my game and I am making many changes to who I am and what I do so that I can be the man my wife married.
My wife doesn’t want fixed
I have to stop reading with my elbow. Thinking this or that is something that my wife needs to get changed in her life. So I need to change my life first so that I can inspire my wife to want to make the needed changes. Then offer her the safe space to be uncomfortable as she starts her journey.
The marriage is far from perfect
Yeah, I have been married for 25 years. Though there haven’t been too many huge rocks to cause turmoil in my marriage I do see now that there are a lot of places that I have dodged. These are places where we could come to know each other better. The conflict of learning about my wife has been shoved away because I couldn’t handle the emotional rocking of the boat. I worried about what my wife would think, What if it gets too rocky for her and she leaves? There are many questions and what-ifs that actually never happen but because I wasn’t confident in myself, so I let many opportunities pass. So my marriage is far from perfect but as you will see I am not giving up.
That marriage is worth all the effort
Though my marriage isn’t perfect and had some tough times, there were some places that It got a little sketchy and could have ended in divorce. Yet it didn’t and at 25 years of marriage, I see that marriage is worth the effort. Will it still work out? I don’t know, though I would love to think it will.
The connection you have with your spouse is one of the greatest connections you will have with another person.
I have a lot of work todo
Man looking through where I was compared to when this podcast started I see I have made progress yet I also see that I have a long way to go.
That I really love coaching
I did a test on myself to see if I really was after coaching or if this was just a craze or something. I have often started stuff and soon lost interest in it. I was pretty sure I was really following my calling and so I imagine what my life would be like if I didn’t follow that calling of being a coach for men.
The results were pretty compelling. I felt pain and loss when I imagined not going down that path. The sensation was enough to prove to me that this is where I am supposed to be.
I have let my schedule get out of hand
I have so much to do and so little time. My schedule is out of whack. I have enough time to get some things done but not everything. So this is an area that I have to work on and apply some discipline. Because as my plans kick in more and more I will need to have a tight hold on my schedule. I am not working to kill myself after all but I do want men to take control of their lives and live on their terms
Kids are amazing
If you have ever sat back and watched kids play, you see humans in their purest form. The boys are rough and tumble and the girls gather into circles. You see all aspects of humans being themselves. This is before the pressure of what if. Kids see the freedom of what if. What if I can jump that ditch. What if I swing all the way around on the swings. What if, and the adventure that it entails is beautiful and amazing.
The Red Pill /Men Going Their Own Way
Sadly I have become aware of so many men who are giving up on women or just leaving the field of contributing to society. They call it the red pill or Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW). These are men or more specifically Nice Guy’s who have decided that the world is against them and that dating or marriage isn’t worth the effort. What these men don’t realize is that the world’s against the Nice Guy. It always has and always will. Manipulating people doesn’t work and because these guys want to play the victim card they are packing up their toys and going home, instead of deciding to live life on their terms and have the wife and life they desire. They are letting the world dictate to them that they need to quit. That is absolutely the definition of failure.
Our veterans need help
Now through this podcasting adventure and actually a little before I had a friend that I talk to on a weekly basis join up with his brother-in-law and together they created a foundation that is setting out to help our veterans overcome the urge to end it all. They are committed to helping get the men and women of our military out into nature and help them mentally reset. They are giving them the needed time off to dump the world off of their shoulders and relax. These guys have created Operation: Tears of the 22. Matt and Rich are setting up a plan that will be able to reach out to our veterans and be a safety net for those who feel as if they have no one to turn to.
This is a group of veterans helping our brothers and sisters who are struggling with where they fit in their civilian world and because of that, they believe they can drop the suicide rate of 22 veterans a day.
Consistency is the key
I have found out that you have to be consistent in what it is that you do. You cant be waffling on what you stand for. If you are going to do a weekly podcast you need to make sure you release it at the same time every time. If you are going to do a blog then release those blog posts and keep the message consistent.
Have a vision
Do you want to complete some audacious goal? Then you need to have that vision as to what it is you are going to do. What does it look like feel like and smell like when that goal is completed? How are you going to act? How are you going to feel? That is all dependant upon your vision of that goal. If you don’t have the vision of the goal then you are going to struggle because you don’t see that land before you. You won’t have the drive till you know where you are going. So, You have to have the vision.
You can love anybody you choose
This is a wild one that has come upon me fairly recently. The concept is that you can actually love anybody you choose to. You have that choice of do you want to tolerate them or do you want to simply love them. Now, this is a bit odd coming from a masculinity site I know but that is how much so many men don’t fully understand masculinity.
Yeah, we love our kids and our wife, but can you love the woman who ditched you and is now getting married to your old best friend? That is a challenge, I agree but it is possible and you can choose to do just that.
There is beauty everywhere
So many times we get caught up in life that we fail to gather the rosebuds. Yet if you stop you can see beauty in even an old spiderweb. The awe and beauty in an incoming storm. The beauty in your wife struggling to keep it together while the kids are being heathens. There is beauty everywhere and as men, we can and are allowed to appreciate it.
