How do you become more assertive? Normal question for nice guys who want to give up the schtick and become the controller of their destiny. You realize you have to assert your wants and needs.
You have to understand what your needs are and put them before others. If not you become the unhappy door mat your previous life has been.
Know your needs
What sets you off? Why does that set you off? Is that point of contention reasonable? Then voice those reasons. If you see someone being late tell them why being late for a meeting is such a rub on you.
Many men have no idea what sets them off or why and then those little things pile up till they explode. Then they wonder why people don’t respect them when they bark orders around.
That is because they change communication styles from assertive to aggressive. Nobody respects the nice guy who is stomping around like a petulant child.
Be confident with a reasonable ask
When you make an ask be confident in that ask. Especially if that ask is reasonable.
Be a good listener
If you are listening to what the other person is saying you can head off miscommunication before it arises. You are also able to build a better relationship because you have stated your expectations in a clear way because you heard the way they repeated it.
Listening also allows for you to pick up clues for a win-win situation.
Provide options
You don’t have to be a hard line jerk. You can provide options that work for both you and the person you are talking to.
Stay cool
Blowing up just makes you look like a jerk.
You can be the scapegoat
You can and need to take the responsibility for your thoughts and actions. That goes with saying no or setting boundaries.
Use the broken record technique
Sometimes it is good to repeat yourself. You can say the same thing in different ways till you are able to get the message across. It shows your boundaries are there and they need to be respected.
