Seek first to understand before you are understood is one of the habits of a highly effective person. This concept really came to light in the book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
This concept is also needed to be able to effect lay communicate with your spouse or girlfriend. Many times we listen foe a place to inject our opinions and thoughts. While not helping the person speaking to be able to share their thoughts in an effective manner.
So listen in and see what it means to seek to understand before being understood.